The Weekly Round-Up: 18.07.03

As The Proclaimers once famously sang, in their improbable brogue: "When you go, will you send back a letter from America..."

So here it is… The Round-Up is coming to you this week from Las Vegas, Nevada. 'Sin City', casinos, cocktails, Elvis, the Rat Pack, The Strip and the strippers... And boy is it hot, hot, hot.

But the Round-Up's not interested in all that (he said unconvincingly)…

The Round-Up is here for CA World 2003 - and not to gamble at all... no really... Rest assured, the only kind of cards the Round-Up has been counting this week are business cards. (Though with 52 you can actually create a convincing deck of playing cards.)

"Read 'em and weep - a royal flush! CIO, CEO and President!" "Aah man! All I had was a pair of marketing directors."

It's been said: "Where else in the world can you see the Eiffel Tower, The Sphinx and the Statue of Liberty?" And putting aside the obvious answers (Paris, Egypt, New York) the answer which the Las Vegas marketing machine want us to come up with is a resounding "Las Vegas, baby, yeah!" (Whooping and punching the air is optional at this point...)

The Round-Up is staying in a vast glass pyramid of a hotel called, almost fittingly, 'Luxor' (yes, yes, the Round-Up knows too that there are no pyramids at Luxor - but didn't have the heart to tell the perma-grinning staff). Outside the hotel there is a 10-storey high Sphinx and an obelisk that makes Cleopatra's needle look like one of a pair that she used to knit with. Taste only ever passed through Vegas on its way elsewhere.

Amazingly the 7,000 room Luxor hotel doesn't have a single toilet. It sounds incredible but it's true. Here's a conversation the Round-Up had shortly after checking in.

Round-Up: "Could you tell me where the toilet is, please?" Luxor Hotel Porter: "I'm sorry sir, we don't have a toilet... there's a bathroom over there though, sir. RU: "Is there a bath in there?" Porter: "No sir."

Technology and Las Vegas have been curious bed-fellows for years now. Ever since Vegas became the convention capital of the world and technology became the convention-staging sector without equal, the two have been inseparable.

The Round-Up could easily imagine the likes of Larry 'I fly jet fighters' Ellison sitting at the high-rollers tables' with the other 'whales'. In fact, Ellison's ongoing pursuit of one particular multi-billion dollar purchase - which is too tired a topic to even mention here - suggests he's no stranger to gambling. But could you really picture Bill Gates sat alongside him? Perhaps only if you've seen Rain Man.

And what other luminaries from the high-tech world might you find shooting craps on the casino floor (which sounds fairly unpleasant)? In truth very few. The dot-com boom and bust lot would doubtless fit in - young, reckless and carefree with an unrivalled ability to blow their cash. But what of the old guard?

Imagine a fat cat boss playing roulette. "I know it's come up on 24 young lady... and I know I backed 36 but you don't understand - I'm used to getting a pay out, regardless of the outcome."

The conference itself kicked off in earnest on Sunday. At first the Round-Up considered pleading 'Christianity' and asking if the conference couldn't start on the Monday for this particular visitor. Then, remembering that the organisers were well aware the Round-Up had staggered out of the GM Grand at 07:30 on Saturday morning, the Round-Up realised they probably wouldn't have believed it for a minute.

With conferences such as this, the names change, but the events and the organisation are almost interchangeable - even down to the unmistakable 'conference humour'.

On this occasion the company's 'Linux Guru' (which is a great job title but in business card poker it is very much the 'joker of the pack') walked around the press centre dressed as a giant penguin - in homage to the open source movement's flightless bird of choice.

But these conferences do provide companies the chance to show their 'human side'.

And let's face it - the employees have good reason to be heard to be laughing as their bosses crack the funnies. Wouldn't you laugh at your CEOs jokes too given the downturn?

"Hi Hank, as you know we're making a few cutbacks, and Steve in marketing tells me you didn't laugh at the opening joke in my keynote..."

It's not a risk worth taking. Sitting stony-faced down the front would be a gamble too far, even in Vegas.

Back in Blighty, silicon.com readers have been emailing us by the cyber-shedload, openly mocking us for our lack of 'cool'. Last week the Round-Up asked what the abbreviation 'l33t hax0rs' means. And you derided us.

Apparently - and too many told us this to name you all - it means 'Elite hackers'. (So why not just say that then?)

Thankfully a number of you also emailed us to profess ignorance on this issue - meaning we weren't alone. Some of you even went so far as to suggest that knowledge of this kind is not actually something to be proud of. Like knowing the little-known names of the crew members who died in Star Trek episodes or being able to spot the inconsistencies arising between different series of the X-Files.

The nation is clearly divided.

Also dividing the nation is the issue of mobile phone use in cars, which looks set to run and run. For the past week silicon.com has been running a survey on the issue, canvassing opinion from thousands of silicon.com readers.

The findings made interesting reading.

The overwhelming majority (78 per cent) of you are in favour of a total ban on driving while holding a mobile phone handset to the ear. This result was made all the more interesting because 32 per cent of you admitted to doing just that - clearly making the most of being able to before the legislation is brought in.

Despite claims from the government that driving with a handset to your ear is dangerous (and it's fair to say that driving one-handed, with your mind elsewhere, does go against much of the Highway Code) other findings revealed a clear 'it couldn't happen to me' mindset.

While 67 per cent of you believe it is never safe to drive with a mobile to your ear, 32 per cent of you believe you should be allowed to do so when the road conditions mean it is safe - putting the decision back in the driver's hands - while one per cent believe it is safe to do so 'all the time, I am a good driver'.

Almost half of you will be unaffected by the government's proposed legislation as you only ever use a hands-free kit - but that doesn't mean you have everybody's approval. Seventeen per cent of respondents believe anything less than a total ban on all in-car mobile phone use is insufficient - ruling out texting and talking - whether you use a hands-free kit or not.

But the hard line ends there. When it comes to punishing people for mobile phone-related dangerous driving, points on the licence or a small fine of up to £250 are seen as punishment enough by the majority (68 per cent) of you. Twenty per cent would prefer to see fines of up to £2,000 handed out and three per cent think a custodial sentence would be in order.

Only eight per cent believe the offence should carry no punishment.

The Round-Up suspects there is still plenty more to be said on this subject - but at least those figures should give you an idea of how your own opinions are allied to the masses. Email your comments to mailto:editorial@silicon.com.

And finally a war of words has re-ignited this week in the security world. Notorious teenage hacker and self-publicist 'Gigabyte' and notorious anti-virus expert and self-publicist Graham Cluley have locked horns once again, after falling out last year over comments made by Cluley which 'Gigabyte'(not her real name) took as being sexist.

This week a virus written by Gigabyte appeared which launched a game in which users had to hit Cluley's head with coconuts - the more times they hit him, the less damage was done to their machine.

Gigabyte also accused "Clueless" - which is her pet name for Cluley - of "talking sh*t" and adding to an unrealistic stereotype of hackers, which has them all as pizza-eating teens who need to grow up.

Cluley countered: "I've never talked about them being pizza-addicted. Of the virus writers I've encountered they've certainly given the impression they have some growing up to do."

Come on now, kids - if you can't play nicely.

Until next week, when the Round-Up will have two feet planted firmly on terra-Blighty, here's some news:

IT Myths: Who's analysing our trans-Atlantic phone calls? Email misuse is rife and costs millions, says report Hacker 'Gigabyte' angered by stereotypes IT shut-out for CEO jobs Crackdown on mobile phone theft stepped up