The Weekly Round-Up: 08.08.03

Like an ageing rock star or a newly relegated football club the Round-Up is aware that it is probably playing to a considerably smaller crowd this week than in the past.

But don't worry. The Round-Up doesn't bear a grudge and really can't blame all those people who have decided to spend their Friday in the sunshine rather than in the office reading an IT newsletter. (Splitters!)

It would appear the weather this week was the only thing worth commenting on - which is good, because having been laid up in bed ill all week with the curtains drawn, the Round-Up is in a great position to discuss it.

As far as the Round-Up could tell looking through the crack in the curtains (OK... it was on the TV), the trains all stopped working because of the 'wrong kind of sun', making it difficult for anybody to get into work - or it would have done had anybody been trying.

One timely survey out this week revealed a mass outbreak of 'summer flu' - which in layman's terms meant everybody skived off because the sun was shining - meaning already understaffed and redundancy-ravished IT departments probably bore even more of a striking resemblance to the Marie Celeste than normal.

The advice to avoid this mass exodus in the future (and the Met Office is warning that many of us may yet live to see another week like this sometime between 2040 and 2050 given current projections) is to embrace it rather than fight against it.

Gerry Callaghan, managing director of youatwork, who conducted the survey, advises rather than punishing staff who return from their 'sick bed' with a tan, you should make it easier for them to enjoy the sun legitimately and hope for some reciprocity on their part.

Tips include surprising your staff with ice-creams (dropping one down somebody's back would probably surprise them but that's apparently not what they had in mind). Also letting your staff leave early on Fridays, introducing summer flexi-time so staff can start early and be out in time to enjoy the afternoon sunshine and allowing your staff to work from home one day per week to avoid the hot hustle and bustle of commuting were all advised.

Obviously that last point doesn't really stretch to all industries - such as shipbuilding. But for office workers with home internet and access to a VPN or Wi-Fi in their local pavement café it could be a real boon.

Somebody without broadband internet access this week was the Round-Up who has had to go back to using a dial-up connection... so now the Round-Up feels real empathy for all the broadband have-nots in rural Britain.

Now silicon.com has long been a supporter of campaigns to bring the high-speed internet to all parts of the UK... which is why we need your help.

We've put together a 20 second survey to find out what you, our all-important readers, make of the state of Broadband Britain. Is it really happening, if it is, is it happening to you? If not why not, and if so, what do you make of it?

We want to hear your thoughts, so please take this final chance to answer our incredibly quick survey (but don't forget to come back and finish reading the Round-Up).

Take the survey here.

While stuck at home bemoaning ill-health during the hottest week of the year (it really wasn't 'summer flu' - honest) the Round-Up was forced to trawl through day-time television. (Whatever happened to that big Scottish fella who did This Morning?)

On Tuesday morning on ITV2 - which is like ITV only twice as pointless (no, the Round-Up didn't think that was possible either) - there was live coverage of Real Madrid v FC Tokyo.

Big news...? Not really but ITV have cottoned on to the fact that the housewives' favourite and most famous ex-pat since Ronny Biggs, David Beckham (remember him?) is now playing his football for the Spanish giants and therefore it's an absolute must-see match.

Rising to the occasion, with the immaculate timing befitting such a stage-managed event, Beckham scored "one of his trademark free-kicks" (TM) just in time for the station to go into a commercial break. After the match Beckham lauded his first goal for Real as a great moment (and the advertisers probably agreed) but surely it paled into insignificance alongside an event earlier in the week.

News reached silicon.com that mobile phone giant Vodafone has given Beckham a new toy. Sadly not an etch-a-sketch or a Stretch Armstrong, which he may actually get some use out of, but a Sharp GX20 mobile phone.

"I can't work the little buttons Victoria - pleeeease can I have my yoghurt pots and string back...?"

"No David, not until St Ivel match Vodafone's offer..."

Vodafone reported that Beckham is "one of the first people in Spain to receive the new and exclusive Vodafone live! handset". Which probably makes him feel very special (if the millions of screaming fans, pop star wife, £25m price tag and £120,000 per week wages didn't already, that is).

Real Madrid's sponsor Siemens Mobile probably aren't so cock-a-hoop, though. They would probably like the club's new golden boy to use one of their own handsets.

Another young darling of the British media raking in the cash this week is the ever-so-nice Martha Lane Fox and her even more improbably-named chum Brent Hobermann.

The two off them were this week celebrating the news that their online travel service lastminute.com had recorded a solid profit.

The Round-Up is actually a big fan of lastminute.com and is delighted to see a UK firm continuing to thrive in the dot-com space - especially one which has become regarded as a barometer for the health of the whole UK dot-com market.

So well done Martha and Brent - we remember meeting you when you were just two posh kids with a good idea... Now look at you.

And finally, the latest bizarre twist in the story of the Segway Human Transporter.

Back in the day this was a wonder invention which attracted the attention of a very excited Steve Jobs (Apple) and Jeff Bezos (Amazon). Told that it would revolutionise transport, for months we were kept guessing as to what it could be that had got these high-tech high-flyers so interested...

...and then it turned out to be a cross between a golf trolley, large enough to carry a fully grown man, rather than a bag of clubs, and a Flymo lawnmower. Interest waned a little.

Even the claim that its complex gyroscope-based technology made it idiot proof to the extent that it was impossible to fall off was undermined by US President George Bush (who else) who to date is the only man to tumble from the Segway.

However, what it has done is awoken Sir Clive Sinclair from his cyber slumber... and the man behind the legendary Sinclair C5 (and the eponymous home computers) is about to make a comeback in personal transport.

The Round-Up can only assume Sinclair's absence from the spotlight wasn't due to his taking time to think up a name for his latest invention as Sir Clive has settled on the C6.

Well done Clive. Must have taken months.

Sinclair is remaining tight-lipped about his new transporter - but he did take time to test the Segway for the BBC.

Sir Clive told Auntie: "I found it very enjoyable - a nice sensation once I got over the initial nervousness." (He could also have been talking about losing his virginity with that statement.)

However, he continued: "It's very manoeuvrable, no trouble there at all. After a few minutes practice you can do anything you like. I think it's wonderfully entertaining, as a toy."

Ooh get him: "As a toy." Meeow - saucer of milk for Sir Clive.

What was the C5 then Clive - a flash sports car?

But perhaps the Round-Up is being unfair to the great man. After all Clive is only thinking of our personal safety and isn't at all bitter that US upstart Dean Kamen has stolen his thunder. He is concerned that the Segway's intended use on pavements will be a hazard - and he may be right - but the Round-Up doesn't really see how riding around the busy city streets, among lorries and buses, in a half-eggshell was much safer.

Furthermore, Sinclair even claims to have designed a device very similar to the Segway around 20 years ago while working for a company called Cambridge Consultants. However, the BBC claims Sinclair's invention "fell by the wayside" - though it doesn't expand on whether that was figuratively or literally.

But what does the Round-Up know? We want to hear your arguments in the C5 v Segway debate and also any half-baked speculation about what the C6 might look like.

Email your comments to editorial@silicon.com

Until next time, here's some news:

PC World Business has "weak case" in web order row lastminute.com sees record profit Broadband aggregation "could constitute illegal state aid" All aboard for Wi-Fi? Guard against the most obvious form of snooping on planes