The Weekly Round-Up: 10.10.03

Oh dear. It would appear the Round-Up last week upset readers in the good old US of A.

Many sleepless nights have ensued...

All the Round-Up did was suggest that George W Bush wasn't exactly the sharpest tool in the box. To be precise the Round-Up suggested that Bush falling off the 'idiot-proof' Segway Human Transporter (SHT) was an interesting test of just how 'idiot-proof' it actually is.

But that was out of order, apparently. An angry email told us so:

"I think your comments about our President were un-called for. You think you are smarter than he is? If so, why are you doing the job you are and he is president of the greatest nation on earth. What an idiot you are."

(Putting aside the obvious facts that 1: He cheated and 2: The Round-Up is too foreign to be president of the USA, otherwise it just might try...)

Mrs Daniel Stuart was mighty peeved - and the Round-Up was duly humbled, never knowingly wanting to offend the "greatest nation on earth" (TM).

At first the Round-Up thought it might be irony from Mrs Daniel but then we thought not.

So sorry Mrs Daniel Stuart - and sorry George, you are obviously a great and good man, though the Round-Up balks slightly at the suggestion that a man with a sub-100 IQ puts anybody in the shade intellectually.

That said, he is the man who came up with: "And out of the evil done to America is going to come a more peaceful world, and a more better America..."

Inspiring. And certainly more better than anything the Round-Up has ever written.

But not everybody in the US is Bush-like and not everyone was offended by the Round-Up talking SHT.

A number of readers responded to our call to hear from people who have ridden the scooter formerly known as codename 'Ginger'.

This from Paul Johnson, a fine citizen of the 'Lone Star State' (where Dubya - the Toxic Texan - used to be Governor of course).

"I ordered mine last November on Amazon and received it this past spring after taking Segway's compulsory 3-hour training course.

"I am 74 years old with arthritis in my left hip that prevents me from walking more than a block or so. I have ridden my SHT all over my neighbourhood, along the hiking trail in my part of town, to and in the local shopping mall, in the opening day parade of the State Fair of Texas, around Fair Park in Dallas, and around The Science Place (our local hands-on science museum) where we allow visitors to ride it."

Paul, you are a living, breathing advert for all things Segway. For that we salute you.

And another reader, Eric, even sheds some light on how Dubya came to fall off the SHT:

"It should be noted in fairness that the instances of malfunction were illustrations of ignorance..."

(Sorry Mrs Daniel - it was Eric not the Round-Up that time...)

And Larry Kaiden added this explanation:

"Our esteemed president fell off the Segway because he never turned it on."

Which explains a lot. Apparently the SHT needs to be switched on… as does George.

But enough of this snide belittling. Onto something more nicer. Let's talk telly.

Who watched the first series of 24?

"Right now a software giant is planning to improve its public perception. My show has been kidnapped. And the people I work with may be involved in both. I'm Federal Agent Jack Bauer. And this is the longest day of my life..."

If you did watch it, you'll get that. If you didn't then trust the Round-Up it's very funny in light of news this week that Microsoft is planning to aggressively market its products through placements in several major TV shows. 24 is one of them.

The software giant has realised that people switch over, or make a brew, as soon as the adverts come on (or those with Tivo fast forward through them...technology - don't you just love it?) so it has decided it needs to promote its wares during the shows in order to make the most of its marketing spend.

So expect (a far more well-paid) Kiefer Sutherland to start saying things like...

"We've got to find that bomb... and by the way what's that great piece of software you're using at the moment, it looks like it increases your productivity considerably?"

Which is interesting. As one reader pointed out to us (and the Round-Up has been back through the DVD of the first series to check) previously on 24 the good guys had always used Macs while the baddies favoured PCs.

But no longer will the PC be the weapon of choice of terrorists or traitors. Microsoft is keen to ensure its products are seen to be used in the offices of CTU... and who knows they might be lucky to find one of those rare 24 hour periods when everything works fine. Otherwise the next series may just feature Jack Bauer spending 24 hours trying to get his desktop support people to come over and fix his PC... which wouldn't really be great telly.

Also on the Mac v PC front this week is silicon.com's Agenda Setters (see http://www.silicon.com/as2003 for more).

As you may know, a panel of industry experts cast their votes for who they think are the biggest movers and shakers in tech. Top of the tree was Steve Jobs and in second place was his nemesis Bill Gates.

But a little further down the list though was Linus Torvalds, the father of the Linux movement, who charted at number 5. This gem of information was picked up by geek site Slashdot where readers took issue with one line in the biog written about Torvalds.

"If it wasn't for the presence of Lara Croft and Xena Warrior Princess, techies around the world would have posters of Torvalds on their walls."

Oh dear. That line resulted in even more people being disenfranchised by silicon.com (it's not been a good week for making friends).

Apparently no techies have posters of Lara or Xena on their walls. According to the feedback we've read on the matter the preferences are for:

1. Star Trek 2. Buffy the Vampire Slayer 3. The X-Files

...in that order.

How wrong we were. What pictures do you have on your office walls? Email editorial@silicon.com...

Also on the receiving end of some stinging criticism this week was the UK's All Party Internet Group who published a report on its recent Spam Inquiry.

A list of recommendations was presented to the press, outlining what APIG believes should be done to sort out the growing problem of unsolicited email.

But in the eyes of industry experts the recommendations appear "woolly" at best.

Alyn Hockey, director of research at email filtering specialist Clearswift, told silicon.com that the recommendations are little more than fantasy.

"It reads like a child's wishlist," said Hockey... and he's got a point.

The MPs present at the press conference dodged a question about how effective they believe the recommendations will be and all in all it appears to be an exercise in being seen to be doing something, while not actually doing anything.

APIG treasurer Brian White MP admitted the inquiry was brought about by pressure from constituents and therein lies the real truth. Voters complained, MPs rallied to the cause. It doesn't really matter if anything changes, as long as the MPs are seen to react to their constituents concerns.

Derek Wyatt, MP for Sittingbourne and chairman of APIG, offered the only obvious truth at the event.

He said: "It would be a shame if we were sat here this time next year talking about the same kinds of problem but government does move incredibly slowly."

And that's certainly true.

Fortunately we won't be but not because of the machinations of our government who will still be umming and aahing about this issue until it is resolved.

silicon.com has made this point more than once but it can't hurt to say it again: it will be technology, not legislation, which wins the war on spam. And then when the amount of spam does start to decline the MPs can sit back and proudly tell their constituents "You see, we said we'd sort it out..."

And finally - and it's a cracking 'and finally'... The former world record holder and British athletics legend David Bedford is threatening to sue The Number 118 118 for using his image to promote their service.

The runner, made famous by his giant sideburns, drooping moustache and long hair, clearly experienced a little déjà vu upon seeing the characters used to advertise the service...

But he possibly wasn't thinking as far back as the 1970s. What he may have been thinking about was the occasion earlier this year when he appeared alongside the 118 118 athletes at a publicity event.

Obviously since then Bedford has been thinking about ways to get more out of the likeness... which appears to be either duplicitous... or possibly just a bit sad.

Worse news for Bedford. The Number is claiming that he was not the inspiration for its runners, and actually has just let his ego run away with him (no pun intended).

Instead 118 118 is claiming that US athlete Steve Prefontaine was actually the man on whom the characters are based - and the resemblance is quite striking. So it may be back to drawing board for Bedford.

Until next week, here's some news. Read it and it'll make you smart like George:

Hairy-faced athlete to sue 118 118 Have we pulled the plug on the enterprise yet? UK port hacker: 'I was framed' Companies leaving major projects up to chance Betfair is Bet-unfair says Minister for Gambling Companies need to sort out their IM policy