The prophecies of Jeff Bezos

Last year, the founder and CEO of the net's leading e-tailer said his company would soon make some cash - and it has. Just. In the fourth quarter of 2001 it made a skinny $5m surplus (which actually sounds pretty impressive when you consider the practically bulimic loss of $545m it suffered in the same period of 2000).

The whole internet community received the news with a huge sigh of relief. Had Amazon not reached its target, it wouldn't just have had egg on its face: serious questions would have been raised about the entire e-tail sector.

But lest we forget, Amazon still has huge outstanding debts (around $2bn) and must continue to cut costs further. That won't be easy. To give you some idea of the tiny margins Amazon is working on, Nielsen//NetRatings has calculated that its UK site alone attracted 1,205,000 new visitors in that quarter, giving it a total unique audience of 4,255,231. And of course it was Christmas, traditionally a boom time for Amazon. In that context $5m doesn't seem a lot.

But for now, let's look on the bright side and give three cheers for St Bezos. Your halo shines brightly sir.

In fact, why not apply for the vacant post of patron saint of internet users? The pope is rumoured to be on the look-out for such a figure. Whoever gets the 'job' will have to achieve some pretty high standards though.

His papal highness said this week that the net caters to the best and worst of human nature and needs regulation to hold back the surging tide of depravity which is threatening to drown us all. John Paul II said that the internet is a "wonderful instrument" and should be used to spread the word of God and encourage world peace.

He also thinks that the amount of information we now have at our fingertips means we know more than ever before, but understand less. "The internet offers extensive knowledge, but it does not teach values and when values are disregarded, our very humanity is demeaned," he said. "Human beings have a vital need for time and inner quiet to ponder and examine life and its mysteries. Understanding and wisdom are the fruit of a contemplative eye upon the world, and do not come from a mere accumulation of facts, no matter how interesting."

So who should be the patron saint of net users? Bezos is probably too materialistic. Bill Gates (yeah right...)? Mahir (of 'I kiss you' fame)? Tim Berners-Lee? Email us your ideas (with reasons) to editorial@silicon.com .

We Brits are rubbish at leaving voicemail messages. BT's 1571 service did some research into the issue, and identified the most irritating aspects of our attempts to talk to a machine.

At number five on its list of voicemail sins is the 'gabbler' who waffles on and on and leaves too much information. The 'ditherer' comes in at four for forgetting to leave a reason for the call. Those who speak too quietly or quickly are at numbers three and two respectively.

But the most annoying caller of all is the one who forgets to leave a name or number.

BT called in a voice consultant to comment on the research. She recommends we put on a sultry smile before we start to talk to a machine in an effort to charm the recipient of the message. Don't gabble, speak clearly, leave your name and number and keep it short and simple, she says.

So there we have it. Better voicemail etiquette may not encourage world peace, but it might just take some of the strain out of modern life. A bit. Maybe.

Most of the internet community feels a little sorry for Netscape, the company that popularised the browser. It managed to become Gates' enemy number one, and scared him into a serious strategic shift.

History shows that Microsoft came late to the party but ended up with the best looking girl in the room: Netscape lost the browser wars and no longer has anything like the penetration levels it had back in the mid-90s. It couldn't survive as an independent company and the browser/portal business is now part of the AOL Time Warner stable.

However, it's like the good old days again now. The browser wars kicked off again this week. AOL is threatening to sue Microsoft now that the software giant has been found guilty of abusing its desktop dominance to conquer the web (see http://www.silicon.com/a50668 ). If AOL is successful in its court action, Microsoft could have to cough up some small change - a figure of $70m is being mooted at the moment.

Most people think AOL is perfectly right to do this. Netscape is usually portrayed as the plucky underdog which was run into the ground by a scheming monopolist. But it's not perhaps quite as blameless as it's often made out to be.

We received a mail this week from Rob Wilmot, co-founder and one-time deputy CTO of the not insignificant ISP, Freeserve. He wrote: "Back in 1998 my colleague Ajaz Ahmed and myself went out to Internet World, Fall, in New York. We were looking for a dial-up kit alternative to the Microsoft IEAK to use for the launch of new ISP we were planning at the time. We tried hard to get a meeting with Netscape, but they wouldn't give us any time and they did not return our calls.

"On 22 September that year we launched Freeserve. We distributed millions of copies of Microsoft Explorer over the next few years. Other ISPs followed our lead. Microsoft now has the dominant browser in the UK. Bad luck Netscape. It could have been you."

Freeserve itself is gearing up for some court action as well. It has reported AOL to the US Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC) because it's not entirely happy with AOL's claim to be the UK's leading ISP. Freeserve reckons it has more customers than its rival.

Indeed it says that AOL's statement, which was made in the context of AOL Time Warner's preliminary results for 2001, is "misleading to investors to a material degree and without significant verification presents a distorted picture of AOL's position in the UK".

Freeserve CEO John Plethero said: "Given that AOL has been sanctioned by the ASA about misleading claims made in their advertising and even by the SEC before for improper accounting practices, perhaps it should come as no surprise that they are once again found peddling wild and extravagant claims."

More money for the lawyers then...