Welcome to 2002

But it may cheer you up to realise that our generation is in fact very lucky: we've now witnessed two wonderfully symmetric, palindromic years in our lifetime (1991 and 2002). And that's a very rare thing indeed.

But if exciting revelations like this make you vaguely uncomfortable, there is at least some solace to be found in the eerily familiar feel of the news so far this year.

Microsoft has been slapped once again in the face with the Kipper of Disappointment as a judge decides the company cannot have any more time to prepare itself for the antitrust trial with nine US states who have refused to sign up to the existing settlement (see http://www.silicon.com/a50239 ).

The hearing will take place as scheduled on 11 March (and don't expect a speedy resolution).

Then we have yet another instance of some widely used software having a gaping hole in it. Step forward AOL (bet you thought it was going to be Microsoft), which has had to issue a patch to fix a flaw in its Instant Messenger software which could have allowed crackers to screw around with your PC (see http://www.silicon.com/a50194 ).

The first big virus story of the year broke this week as well. It's been proven that Macromedia's popular Flash software can be used to carry a virus. Don't lose too much sleep over this one though: no instances have yet been found in the wild, and simply visiting a website which uses Flash isn't dangerous: you'd have to download a file and run it on your PC to be affected by it.

One rather large company has already added to the economic gloom by saying 2002 will be a bit tricky. AOL Time Warner reckons its ad revenues will shrink in the first half of the year, and will have to take a one-time charge of - wait for it - between $40bn and $60bn, almost certainly the largest in corporate history (http://www.silicon.com/a50243 ).

And if those echoes of 2001 aren't enough for you, the redoubtable top dogs at Apple and Microsoft, Steve Jobs and Bill Gates, have been hyping their companies' new wares. And they've even started copying each others' homework.

Gates says the PC will become the 'digital entertainment centre' of our homes (http://www.silicon.com/a50278 ). Jobs believes the new iMac will be at the heart of a domestic 'digital hub'. Which is the same thing really.

Gates unveiled a host of new products, including Mira (a computer with a detachable flat-screen monitor that can communicate with its base station over a wireless network), and Freestyle, a set of extensions for XP that will allow PCs to be controlled from anywhere in the house via remote control.

Meanwhile, Jobs unveiled an angle-poise lamp with a screen attached (otherwise known as the new iMac - see http://www.silicon.com/a50241 ). It looks wonderful/silly depending on your point of view, but at the very least proves once and for all that computers need not be rectangular. This prompted Jobs to say: "This is the most beautiful bottom of a computer I've ever seen."

You can't argue with that.

But if all this posturing and all these security threats and all these financial woes are getting you down (despite their familiarity following a 2001 packed with such news), consider this: Compaq thinks it's going to make a surprise profit (http://www.silicon.com/a50244 ). Merrill Lynch thinks IT spend will grow in Europe and the US this year, albeit slowly (three per cent, compared to a one per cent fall in 2001). IDC is even more optimistic, claiming that IT spend in the US will be up between four and six per cent in the US, and between 10 and 12 per cent in western Europe.

The dot-com meltdown has also slowed. Only 2,403 dot-com jobs were lost in US companies in December, down from 2,901 in November and a frightening 10,459 in December 2000 (http://www.silicon.com/a50140 ).

Furthermore, the early signs are that e-tailers did well over Christmas (we'll bring you more on the stats as they come in).

And 2002 looks like it won't be short of silly stories either. Let's hope the new year brings happiness for Kay Hammond, the internet entrepreneur who auctioned herself as a wife on QXL and eBay late last year (http://www.silicon.com/a50282 ). She got kicked off by eBay who thought her move was a tad immoral, while a £1bn bid on QXL turned out to be a hoax. Surprisingly enough.

Undeterred, she's now planning to go back for more on QXL next week. (For the last time we'd like to stress this isn't a publicity stunt for Tamba, as Ms Hammond was keen to point out while being interviewed on the Richard and Judy show on Channel 4 just before Christmas.)

Unfortunately, she appears to have become a bit of a trend-setter: a 26-year-old Scandinavian man is now auctioning himself as a husband on QXL. Dominique Femerstrom wants his wife to be "female, a Swedish/European/US citizen, 18-40" and must meet basic health requirements (he says nothing specific about mental well-being).

"Why am I doing this?" he continues. "I'm doing this because I haven't found the right woman in my life yet. I'm not selling sex, I'm selling the whole package, that includes my mood, my lifestyle, my interests, yes everything."

At 26, it's safe to say patience isn't his greatest virtue. He adds that he's "totally serious" and will marry the highest bidder. The auction's up to £200,000 at the moment.

Good to see true love alive and well in 2002.

Happy new year to you all. The Round-Up will be back next week...