The Weekly Round-Up: 13.02.04

This week, the Round-Up is proud to present: seven steps from Bill Gates to a Bangkok 'lady-boy'.

When Microsoft and Disney this week announced they were striking a deal to develop digital content and delivery systems there was an inevitable slew of Mickey Mouse and Goofy jokes in the silicon.com editorial office.

The deal will see the two companies working together on a range of topics from high-definition film to digital rights management (see here).

The announcement must have been music to Bill Gates' ears considering the company's DRM offering has so far failed to occupy the middle ground...

...however, the media was also full of speculation this week that Apple and Pixar CEO Steve Jobs was being lined up for the top job at Disney.

Considering the iTunes Music Store endorses a rival DRM standard to Microsoft things could change for Bill if Jobs takes over from current Disney chairman and CEO Michael Eisner, as has been suggested, even now Comcast has launched a hostile takeover $50bn takeover.

Protracted negotiations between Pixar and Disney to extend their highly lucrative partnership broke down recently.

This week former Disney executives have opined the belief that Uncle Walt's company would be safer off in Jobs' hands...

...talk of security (sorry) inevitably leads us back to Microsoft and contrasting fortunes for the software giant this week.

The first was that Microsoft UK's chief security officer Stuart Okin claimed that Internet Explorer is now the most secure browser in the world. Stop sniggering at the back.

The company recently released a security patch for IE last Monday that fixed three critical vulnerabilities. (see here)

(Unfortunately the patch also altered the way the browser handles certain URLs and forced many companies to reprogram their systems to accommodate the change. But hey, let's accentuate the positive.)

The Round-Up can't help but wonder that much in the same way Obi-wan Kenobi observed that Darth Vader had became "more machine now than man", that IE is "more patch now than browser".

Either way, as long as Okin's claim turns carries water (or more importantly keeps out malicious hackers) it can only be good news for IE users.

The bold claim was enough to raise the security profile of the company for a good few hours until some troublemaker reported he'd found another seven vulnerabilities in Windows, three of them 'high' risk. (see here)

Of course, concern over the security of Microsoft products is one of the factors driving the uptake of open source software and in particular Linux...

Bearing in mind silicon.com recently reported that Microsoft was launching an anti-open source advertising campaign in the UK (see here), the Round-Up was rather intrigued to read the itinerary for the London Connects conference on "enabling an agile government".

A workshop on Open Source Software - Practical deployment. It was to help public sector IT chiefs ascertain if open source software would be appropriate for their organisation

The workshop is sponsored by Microsoft.

In case you're wondering, that deafening, grinding noise you just heard was the world stop spinning on its axis and go around the other direction.

This is surely Book of Revelations-type stuff: "Yea! And the lion shall lie down with the lamb."

(Although the lamb won't get much sleep, as Woody Allen once quipped.)

silicon.com would love to hear from anyone who attends the workshop, which starts at 9.00 and breaks at 12:15 for FUD, sorry food...

Meanwhile, a local council in Germany may have found the secret to overcoming the said fear, uncertainty and doubt surrounding adoption of Linux.

The small southern Germany city of Schwäbisch Hall ditched Microsoft's software in favour of open source in late 2002.

On Wednesday, Horst Bräuner, the civil servant responsible for implementing the migration, revealed the tactics used to get the council workers of Schwäbisch Hall onside.

He's been handing out stuffed penguins and, most controversially, showing users that even a woman can find her way around open source software.

Bräuner quipped: "We put the chairwoman of our workers' council on stage in front of all the municipal workers, and showed her using the new system.

"After that, we found that no man would say that he couldn't use his PC now that everyone knew a woman could do it."

[Pause for a few tumbleweed to roll lazily across the room...]

Understandably, ahem, there were some complaints.

"I became the most hated person in the municipality but hey, that's usual," chirped Bräuner as a red laser beam from a sniper's rifle flickered across his forehead.

"So, to people who didn't like it I gave away Linux T-shirts and stuffed penguins."

Run Horst, run!

Such sexist gibberish could be enough to turn you off the idea of open source software altogether and back to Windows.

And if cost alone is a barrier to running a Windows-powered system, never fear, because despite Microsoft repeatedly denying it will adjust its one-price policy...

The software giant has released a modified version of Windows XP with reduced functionality which costs a fraction of the cost of the full version. (see here).

The 'lite' version of XP is currently only available in Thailand and is part of the Thai government's low-cost PC programme. However, Microsoft admitted it is considering extending the scheme to other governments.

The software was provided at a cost of 1,500 baht, or about £20, compared with the usual price of a few hundred quid...

Then again, if you're an unscrupulous sort, happen to be in Bangkok and fancy a full version of Windows XP (or maybe even the not-yet-released Longhorn OS) you can almost certainly pick one up at the infamous Pat Pong market for less than 1,500 baht.

What’s more, with the spare change you can splash out on a Rolex and bottle of Singha beer in one of the area's local drinking establishments which are also rather famous for the gender-ambiguous 'lady-boys' that so puzzled fictional TV presenter Alan Partridge.

So there you are.

Not that the Round-up is terribly interested in 'lady-boys' you understand, it just finds them confusing, that's all...

The Six Nations kicks off this weekend with Wales taking on Scotland, France taking on Ireland tomorrow and England playing in Italy on Sunday.

silicon.com has packed down with CSF to offer you the chance to win a load of goodies with our Fantasy Rugby game.

With Jonny Wilkinson out for the tournament, much to the relief of the other five nations and IT columnists utterly sick of the sight of his chiselled features plastered everywhere, the fantasy rugby playing field is wide open.

If you don't your know hookers from your flankers don't despair. You'll find a 'dummies' guide to the game on the site.

Besides, the Round-Up once ended up in the top 0.5 per cent of the Daily Telegraph's fantasy cricket game despite not knowing the first thing about the world's silliest game - other than that one they play in Afghanistan with a dead goat.

So placing Jonny Wilkinson and dead goats aside for a moment, the Round-Up urges you to take off like a "mad potato on speed" (as the doyen of rugby commentators Bill McLaren once described former Irish hooker Keith Wood) and register your Six Nations team today.

You can also get some tips by checking out the team selection of England's record cap scorer Jason Leonard but what does he know...

And finally this week, the Round-Up brings you a heart-warming tale of SMS bringing two estranged lovers back together.

Like many others the Round-Up has relied on the simple text message to resolved delicate situations with loved ones - essentially the tech equivalent of a bunch of tattered carnations from the local garage.

However, a German rock star this week got his wife to forgive him and come home after he erred in quite spectacular fashion.

According to Ananova, Werner Boehm's wife stormed off after he admitted he'd rather share the martial bed with a baboon than her.

Boehm took the female baboon home after filming a music video with it after being very successful in the German version of I'm a Celebrity... Get Me Out of Here! (The mind boggles).

She said: "I gave him the choice: the monkey or me. He chose the monkey. It's incredibly painful to know that some baboon is more important to him than I am."

Boehm, 62, originally said his wife was welcome to return as long she accepted the new domestic set-up.

He said: "Susanne is welcome to stay. But only if she accepts the monkey."

However, when the baboon police very sensibly took the primate to a zoo following complaints by animal rights groups the husband grovelled an apology by SMS.

"Werner sent me a text message to tell me that the monkey was gone and that he only loved me and I should come back.

"At first I didn't want to but then we talked for a long time. Werner assured me I feel much nicer in bed than the monkey did."

The baboon was unavailable for comment.

The Round-Up will be the first one to admit that the IT angle on that story was tenuous to say the least but technology columnists so rarely get an excuse to write articles about German people sleeping with monkeys these days.

Until next week have a banana, as well as week's top stories...

Janet Jackson's boob flash tops web searches

'Dumb' users spread viruses – official

'Worst ever Windows vulnerability' discoverer finds seven more holes

Government to buy satellite car-tracking data

Software firm's ex-bosses face seven years