The Weekly Round-Up: 26.03.04

Half a billion euros: the bill Microsoft will pick up after the European Commission ruled the company had been found guilty of anti-competitive behaviour in Europe.

No big deal. This is a company with a market capitalisation of around $260bn and a cash mountain of over $50bn.

What is potentially more damaging for the software giant is the EC's demand that it un-bundle Windows Media Player from XP and open up parts of the Windows source code to third parties (see here ).

The key word is "potentially" We've been here before, of course. Microsoft versus the Department of Justice? All that talk about splitting up the company?

The DoJ case focused on Microsoft's practice of bundling its Internet Explorer browser in Windows and the desktop thereby giving it an unfair advantage over rival browsers - namely Netscape.

Result: guilty as charged.

The allegations made in the EU's case are all too similar.

The software giant has been rapped on the knuckles for bundling its Windows Media Player software and making it difficult for third party vendors to compete - in this case RealNetworks (and others).

Nothing's changed. Same company, same shenanigans. Microsoft has continued to operate in an aggressive and heavy-handed fashion with the 'competition'.

Take the report out earlier this month that suggested shady connections between Microsoft and the SCO group currently attacking Linux vendors (see here).

To many, the news came as no surprise. There was no smoking gun but the whiff of cordite was drifting on the crisp, spring, Seattle air.

Meanwhile, the row between the software behemoth and Linux minnow Lindows over trademark infringements continues.

Lindows recently took Microsoft to court for its prolonged "legal assault" through the world's courtrooms, despite judges ruling repeatedly in favour of the Linux firm (see here).

Michael Robertson, CEO of Lindows, recently said: "Microsoft is purposely delaying the US case from going to trial while they use their monopoly profits to fund a global legal assault on our small company to halt the adoption of Linux."

These don't strike you as the actions of a penitent company, humbled by its past misdemeanours and trying to toe the line.

Despite the heavy fines, the 'draconian' rulings and the promises of a level playing field, Ballmer, Gates and Co haven't changed their business practices to any significant extent.

EC competition commissioner Mario Monti asserted that their "decision that will stand before any appeal". We'll find out as the software giant has already made it clear it plans to appeal (see here).

So look forward to appeals, retrials, redefinition of terms, goalpost shifting and other wranglings as this row rumbles on. And on.

The resolution of the case could be another seven years away. (Which means silicon.com may be reporting on this saga until 2011, in itself a grim prospect for a technology journalist.)

So what's the answer? Tougher action from individual governments? Fat chance.

The Bush administration settled 'amicably' with the company, a major presidential campaign contributor, almost as soon as it got into the White House.

Meanwhile, the UK decided to 'knight' Bill Gates. Admittedly for worthy acts of philanthropy but what kind of message did this send out at a time when the EC case was looming?

Call the Round-Up a tired, old cynic if you like but it can only see one winner at the resolution of this case.

In the end, clever monopolist leopards never change their spots; they just make spots the industry standard...

(By the way, if you have any bright ideas about what can be done to force Microsoft to stop being so beastly to everyone, or if you think everyone else should stop being beastly to Microsoft, please email editorial@silicon.com.)

Motorola was hit by accusations of insensitivity this week after it took the wraps off its latest marketing gimmick - a mobile phone game called 'Pain on the Train'.

David Brunnen, MD at telecoms business development consultancy ABFL Groupe Intellex, published an article online condemning the move.

Brunnen criticised the timing of the launch - coming so soon after the tragedy in Madrid in which some of the bombs that killed over 200 people on commuter trains were detonated by mobile phones.

While the game had clearly been in development for some time, the timing of the press release might have been reconsidered.

A spokesman representing the joint venture between Motorola and MTV apologised for any distress the campaign caused and stressed the launch had been timed to coincide with the CeBit conference in Hanover, Germany.

Meanwhile, another aspect of the campaign was hit by criticism for featuring some misfit cartoon characters called The Gimps.

To many, the word 'gimp' is associated inexorably with a leather-masked fan of sadomasochism.

Not from personal experience you understand but thanks to the famous scene in Quentin Tarantino's film 'Pulp Fiction'.

The helpful Motorola spokesman added: "The irreverent and mischievous persona of these characters has inspired a cult-like following and has particular currency with MTV's audience."

Indeed, but it still seems rather a curious image to drive to the teen audience. But who knows what the yoof of today are into nowadays? Not the Round-Up.

More curious and disturbing still was the link to his published article that David Brunnen provided to one of silicon.com's editorial team.

The URL failed to work and, being a net-savvy chap, the journalist in question shortened it in an attempt to reach the home page and track down the story from there.

However, what the editor concerned discovered was not for the faint hearted.

Due to a typo in the URL, the home page belonged not to Brunnen's consultancy but to someone called Baby Brrr - a 32-year-old man with a fetish for dressing up in a nappy and pretending to be a two to three year-old adult baby boy.

Innocent mistake, David? Or subconscious, gimp-influenced, Freudian slip?

The Round-Up's got your number...

"It was horrible. I hate the way men kiss." Thus spake Rosie Reid, a lesbian student who has admitted having sex with a man for £8,400 after auctioning her virginity online (see here).

Unsurprisingly, the police are now investigating if Reid is guilty of soliciting.

Eighteen-year-old Rosie chose the 44-year-old after meeting all the top bidders and assessing their "suitability".

The first-year social policy student at Bristol University said she made the sacrifice to make sure she didn't leave university with huge debts - as opposed to the massive emotional baggage she presumably now carries.

Reid said she "sobbed" after sleeping with the man.

She told the News of the World: "It felt very uncomfortable but it was over quite quickly I suppose." A quote the man concerned could probably have done without seeing.

Reid, from south London, said she'd received hundreds of bids after putting her maidenhood up for sale, first on eBay and then on her own website.

Apparently the successful bidder was a BT engineer who, like Reid, hails from south London.

Which left the Round-Up wondering if her decision was perhaps influenced by the familiar patter of the Sarrf Lahn-dun brogue.

Or being a BT engineer, maybe it had something to do with a fat pipe?

And finally, we close with exciting news from Intel. Relatively speaking.

A press release from the company this week trumpeted: "Forget Sim City or Championship Manager..." (the Round-Up would love to, Mr Intel marketing person, it really would, but it's so very hard to stop) "...the server room is where the real action happens."

The chip giant has launched an online game that lets IT managers "practice and test their technology skills" in a virtual environment - as opposed to doing some actual work and using them for real.

In addition, the game offers "non-IT managers" the chance to experience the "challenges and rewards associated with an IT career". Stop sniggering at the back.

Up-and-coming features include impromptu IT quizzes with the CEO (we’re guessing that any question along the lines of "Oi whatsyourname! How can we improve our network efficiency?" will have something to do with Xeon processors) and defending your network from terrifying "hacker attacks" (the Round-Up recommends the rocket launcher).

Unfortunately, when the Round-Up tried to register to play the game from the UK Intel site it was given instructions in Italian.

What better way to discourage "non-IT managers" from careers in IT than to propagate the myth that techies really do speak a different language?

Mamma mia!

Until next week take a gander at the headlines of the week, which have a distinctly 'Microsofty' theme - funny that. Ciao ragazzi!

Microsoft unveils online song shop

Microsoft antitrust verdict – guilty and €497m fine

Microsoft bundling 'none of your business' US politicians tell EU

One in five Brits not learning ID theft lessons

Google pop-up 'blackmailer' arrested

Did slot machines convince the EC to rule against Microsoft?