The weekly Round-Up: 23.04.04

Ouch! Wince! The Round-Up is still carrying a few aches and pains from last Sunday's marathon.

Make no mistakes about it - watching that race is tough. I don't think the runners fully appreciate what us spectators put ourselves through. There's all that standing up on your feet for hours on end and craning your neck to see through the crowds. And then there's the battle against the elements - the wind, the rain and the cold.

It's hard work alright but the Round-Up pulled through.

What didn't quite survive was Orange's text service, which was going to keep spectators up to date with the progress of the assorted friends and family they had running the race (and the Round-Up extends hearty congratulations to all the thousands of absolute stars who got around the 26 mile slog).

Orange's rather good idea worked (or rather didn't) on the basis that when runners passed certain points around the course - spread 5km apart - their supporters would be alerted via SMS to ensure they were ready in place when the runner was due to pass their particular 'cheer station'. The system would also keep supporters informed of split times.

Unfortunately the system went down almost as soon as soon as Johnny Wilkinson fired the starter pistol. In fact it could barely have failed quicker if the golden-booted one had taken aim directly at the nearest base station and shot it to pieces.

(The Round-Up is aware starter pistols aren't actually loaded - it was mentioned merely for dramatic effect.)

But Orange claims it is blame-free. "Don't point the finger at us - it weren't our fault," a spokesman told silicon.com.

OK he didn't quite say it like that but he did say the fault lay with the race's official timer and the chip technology which was carried by every runner in the race.

One reader wrote in to say: "A colleague of mine who ran Sunday's London Marathon took three minutes to cross the start line and completed the course in a respectable time of 3:24:07."

Which is all very impressive - but sadly the technology didn't quite keep pace.

The reader continued: "According to Orange it took him 20 minutes to cross the start line and he's still running two days later. Not being a doubting Thomas or anything but he's definitely here with medal in hand!"

Looks like a case of better luck next year for this well-intended technology.

[While we're on the subject of charitable events, let the Round-Up take this opportunity to thank all those who have already donated money to the 3 Peaks Challenge which CNET UK and silicon.com staff - including the Round-Up - will be taking part in this June in aid of Shelter. Particular thanks go to our friends over at PR company Brands2Life who have been very generous in their support of this gruelling but ultimately very worthwhile challenge. Anybody can donate securely online at http://www.justgiving.com/CNet_3Peaks and anything you can spare will be much appreciated.]

And now back to the Round-Up... A man in North Wales was this week complaining about the poor service he had received from a member of BT's customer service team.

What's so special about this man's complaint?' you may ask. Well read on because this one's a doozey.

David Price complained of recurring faults on his line and claimed in the most recent instance he had been kept waiting more than nine days for the line to be repaired.

Upon hearing this complaint your friendly BT customer service rep asked the man whether he would consider selling his house and "moving south" where BT could guarantee him a better service.

Price, from Beddgelert, told the Welsh Daily Post: "I was staggered. I couldn't believe she actually told me I should move to London."

When asked about her apparent attitude problem, the customer service rep reassured Price she was just trying be helpful and genuinely believed it was a useful suggestion (though such initiative is probably not encouraged in any BT training manuals).

A BT spokesman told the Post: "We apologise if the advice Mr Price was given was not the most helpful and are investigating the way this particular fault has been handled."

"Not the most helpful" he says… The art of understatement is alive and well.

Speaking of stating the blindingly obvious it turns out that flirting online with other people can be damaging to your relationship…

Well hold the front page and call the Round-Up enlightened!

According to a report on the BBC more than half of the respondents who took part in a survey carried out by Belfast's Queen's University said anyone flirting online was being unfaithful.

(Far be it from the occasionally grammatically remiss Round-Up to embark on a battle of semantics with the BBC but surely they mean "anyone" IN A RELATIONSHIP ALREADY! The Round-Up can't help thinking those last four words are quite critical to the issue because surely single people can flirt away to their heart's content with a clear conscience.)

"Experts" (and the Round-Up likes the casual use of that word) told attendees at the British Psychological Society's annual conference that flirting online with other people is often a symptom of "a relationship being in trouble".

No! You think?

Dr Whitty – the brains behind the operation – from Queen's University, said: "The results of this study show that couples need to be clear what the rules are when it comes to online cheating."

Technically "what the rules are when it comes to cheating" are 'don't do it' - there's a clue in there somewhere.

However, the Round-Up would certainly like to be a fly on the wall during one of those conversations.

"Love, I'm flirting shamelessly in the 'Dirty at 30' chatroom and just thought I'd best check with you what you're comfortable with me saying to 'Sleepless in Scarborough'…"

But it's not just email and the internet which are giving rise to techno-flirting - Bluetooth is very much the new wine bar when it comes to picking up new partners.

A craze called 'toothing' is sweeping the country and involves people on commuter trains, buses or crowded platforms seeking out strangers for a little pre- or post-work rumpy-pumpy.

Simply by seeking out fellow Bluetooth users, potential 'toothers' can send a message asking 'Toothing?' - anybody then in the know is expected to show an interest and let the other person know their 'compatibility' (don’t make the Round-Up spell it out - just think plugs and sockets and you should get the idea...)

If both parties are game they then exchange messages arranging a location, such as 'Toilets on Platform 3 are normally quiet - see you there in 10 minutes'. Some adventurous toothers have even been using quiet train carriages and other more risky locations.

Messageboards dedicated to the subject have sprouted up all over the web, with one even informing fellow users that there is 'No toothing in Tooting', which while disappointing to those in SW17 at least has a certain ring to it. (See here for more on this story.)

Somebody else sending morally questionable - or perhaps just downright stupid - text messages in recent times is Welsh youth Ryan Jenkins who raised a bomb alert in a nightclub through his idiotic actions.

Jenkins was in the Creation nightclub in Cardiff when he decided to take advantage of a large screen above the dance floor that was broadcasting clubbers' text messages.

Jenkins attempted to send a message to the screen that read: "There is a bomb in the building and you are all going to die" but staff screened the message and alerted the police, who traced the hapless Jenkins via his mobile number.

The police and club staff expressed fears that such a message could have sparked a life-threatening stampede from the club if it had made it onto the screen - although Jenkins saw it as little more than a drunken prank. (Creation - the name of the nightclub - is actually an anagram of 'O! A Cretin!' which seems quite apt.)

However, with the benefit of hindsight Jenkins pleaded guilty to communicating false information with intent at Cardiff Crown Court and was sentenced to six months in prison.

Even Jenkins' own defence (sounds like a thankless task if ever there was) said he was guilty of "crass stupidity" but blamed the trainee electrician's actions on the fact he was "in a rather drunken condition" (oh, quick thinking 'Rumpole', that'll win 'em over) and claimed he was generally a hard-working young man from a respectable family.

Peter Davies, for the defence, added: "It was a young man behaving in a daft way because he had been drinking.”

Fortunately, that watertight defence carried little sway with Judge Neil Bidder QC who wasted no time sending Jenkins to a young offenders' institute to have a long, hard think about the potential consequences of his actions.

Bidder explained to Jenkins that such pranks in the current climate of high terror alert could not be tolerated or taken lightly. (See here for more on this story.)

News that will come as no surprise to football fans this week is that a certain Mr Ranieri has found himself switching management jobs.

News that will come as no surprise to industry watchers is that this is actually a story about Lewis Ranieri who has replaced Sanjay Kumar as CEO of Computer Associates.

Kumar was seemingly ousted after growing pressure relating to ongoing SEC and DoJ investigations. While CA was quick to point out this was no indication of any impropriety on

Kumar's part the company believed the fact he was top dog when the 'proverbial' hit the fan meant his position had become untenable.

However, Kumar has been given a new job as chief software architect (hey - if it's good enough for Gates) in a 'no hard feelings' kind of way.

Many of you will have received that story twice in yesterday's daily email - because we accidentally used the same link again where there should have been one pointing to a story about a spammer who claims he has turned his back on the bulk mail trade to make pants (in the English - undercrackers - sense of the word).

So here is that link again here.

You may notice at this point that this newsletter has progressed from Marathon to knickers... which almost echoes the marketing ploy of Mars some years ago.

And finally before the Round-Up signs off for another week - silicon.com has been running a poll over the past couple of weeks asking which of six top IT figureheads you'd most like to share a beer with.

'Lonely' Darl McBride, CEO of SCO, received a staggering 0.5 per cent of the vote. Perhaps readers were unconvinced they'd finding anywhere decent to get a beer in his HQ's home state of Utah - or perhaps they were just put off by his company's universally unpopular Linux legal action. You decide.

Scott McNealy (6 per cent) and Steve Ballmer (7.5 per cent) polled enough of the vote to make us think you'd probably sit down and chat over a cold one with them if there was nobody else in the pub, the fruit machine was broken and there wasn't a TV in the bar, while shooting the breeze about the playboy lifestyle with Oracle CEO Larry Ellison appealed to a respectable 14.8 per cent of you.

However, the big three were, in reverse order, Linus Torvalds (22.2 per cent), Bill Gates (22.3 per cent) and Steve Jobs (26.6 per cent). Quite what you'd talk about with those three the Round-Up can only imagine... email us at mailto:editorial@silicon.com and let us know.

Until next week, here's some news.

Microsoft beats the Street - but can't escape legal bills

Teen saves Gates from hackers, gets nothing

UK ID cards: Not as unpopular as you might think

Mobile-tracking start-up sees "huge rise" in users

Microsoft: Customers stay because switching's too expensive

Apple's Jobs: No to Real partnership

1,000 songs: portable media player ideal size