The Weekly Round-Up: 21.01.05

"I don't know what I said but it was baaaaad!"

Remember that line...? Go on, you must do. It was Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer's reaction to the angry feedback which followed comments made to silicon.com last year about iPod users and downloading illegal music.

If there's one thing Apple fans hate more than anti-Apple sentiment, it's anti-Apple sentiment from anybody associated with Microsoft. Blue touch-paper lit, the angry feedback began flooding in and soon word of the outrage found its way back to Ballmer - who claimed a dodgy memory, as per the quote above.

Well, now Ballmer has a kindred spirit in close Microsoft ally Kevin Rollins, CEO of pre-installed Windows mega-box-shifter Dell.

Speaking to silicon.com in Texas last week he claimed to be an admirer of Apple's. He said the company has "done a nice job", calling the iPod "a raging success". But in amongst those compliments were statements that the new Mac mini is not "going to turn the industry upside down" - fair enough - and that the iPod is a fad-like one product wonder, like the Sony Walkman, a must-have product when Rollins was growing up.

Whoa. Back up there a second. Was that the sound of a huge can of worms being opened?

Interpret the statement as you will (it's here and here's our full Q&A with the man ) but given that the Walkman was the must-have item of the 1980s and took on an iconic status normally reserved for pop stars, it does seem a tad harsh to refer to it even in passing as a fad. Poor choice of word. Cue the tidal wave of reaction from some readers.

In the world of consumer electronics the 20 years of success enjoyed by such a 'one hit wonder' equates to a lifetime. It defined the pop culture of its era (OK, it weighed a tonne at first) and gave the world a generic term for music on the move. It sparked research into how we will use portable music for decades to come and arguably sowed the seeds Apple harvested with the success of the iPod.

But it wasn't just fans of the Walkman who spat out their breakfast cereal while reading our coverage of those comments.

Unsurprisingly the Mac faithful also got out their virtual burning torches and set about flaming Rollins, via the hard-worked silicon.com mailbag.

Because, say what you like about Apple's fans, they're a loyal bunch with a remarkable grasp of what probably passes for, like, 'frat-boy' profanity these days.

One master of the written word even called Rollins "Steve Ballmer's right hand pit stain".

We're really not sure what that means but we're guessing it's not nice.

What with one thing and another it's been a busy week for the Mac faithful. Once they'd finished dissing Rollins, a mild-mannered exec not known for baiting the opposition like an Ellison, a McNealy or even like that founder/chairman chap in the office next door, they turned their anger on the 12 members of this week's silicon.com CIO Jury after they had the audacity to write-off Apple's chance in the enterprise computing space.

And when they weren't writing angry emails to silicon.com they were honouring all the hard work of Apple in meticulously putting together the iPod shuffle... by taking them apart again, not so meticulously.

One Mac website, which caught the eye of the Round-Up, boasts an exposé of the "shocking" insides of the shuffle, flash iPod player.

And they were indeed shocking. It turns out the gadget is actually not a gadget but is in fact a living, breathing organism – a genetically modified creature, which bleeds when cut.

No of course it isn't. It looks like the insides of almost any other electronic gadget... as one might expect. The Round-Up couldn't quite work out what the "shocking" part was.

However, the person performing this dissection was methodical in his approach and recorded it all in words and pictures for visitors to the site, even talking in the kind of medical patter he might have picked up while waiting for glimpses of underwear in the prep room scenes of ER or Scrubs.

He began with a "scalpel..." perhaps even requesting each implement from a just-out-of-shot female nurse (...if he indeed knows any women, which the Round-Up would question).

"Slipping a blade under the outer ring to the navigation buttons reveals a thin rubber membrane underneath. The disk pries off, breaking the membrane around it...."

Well done, so we're inside, let's have a look around...

"At this point it is clear that the ring cannot be reassembled and I'm not sure that it had to be removed in order to open the casing..."

Oh dear, because of course by saying that, what he actually means is "Nuts, I've just bust my iPod".

So he tried getting in via the USB plug...

"Gripping the plug with pliers and pulling will snap the plug out of the casing. Make sure not to pull too hard. The ribbon wiring connecting the USB plug to the greenboard is short and rips easily."

By which he means "Nuts, I just broke my iPod some more".

Eventually he got inside and revealed to the world some circuitry and a battery. Who would have thought? Well worth $99/$149 of anybody's money.

Expect to see a haphazardly dissected iPod shuffle appearing on eBay any day now.

But before Apple fans think we're being unfair, here's something that should put a smile back on their faces.

Earlier this week, the Round-Up, topical as ever, stumbled upon some pictures dating from 1984 of a young Bill Gates in less than flattering poses. Don't worry... they're not 'those kind' of poses – but close.

Gates was posing centrefold style for what we can only assume was some kind of eye-candy journal for young entrepreneurs. And if it wasn't for the woolly sweater and slacks this would be softcore. 'Primnography' perhaps... or 'propernography', maybe.

In the shots, Gates is draped across his desk, giving readers what can only be described as his 'come to bed eyes', here.

Incredibly though, much of the chat on the site where the Round-Up first chanced upon them (The Round-Up says 'chanced' but of course means 'stumbled in horror') was dedicated to the suggestion that the pics dated from 1983.

So, why such date-based debate? Well...

"Of course it can't be 1983, look at the Mac behind him – that would make it at least 1984."

Of course – you just can't keep 'em quiet.

Did these people not notice the world's richest man-in-waiting, leaning provocatively on his workstation giving the camera his 'How YOU doin'?' eyes. The date is irrelevant.

In another shot he appears to have passionately swept all the junk off the desk and made room for some lucky lady to hop up on there and have some 'fun'... see here.

In that pic his right hand appears poised in a gesture which either says 'If I were a smoker there would be a Gauloises balanced seductively here right now'... either that or the 'fun' he was offering up on his desk was actually going to be a shadow puppet show.

"Look at the wall, it looks just like a yapping dog," he might be saying.

Speaking of dogs, an interesting lot was shifted on eBay this week, with a rather nasty story behind it.

Unfortunately a US woman ran over her husband's dog while backing out of the driveway in her car... and then she tried to sell it on the popular auction site. The car, not the dog, of course.

At first the Round-Up did actually have a terrible image of it being the body she was trying to get shot of but then reality kicked in.

Eventually the Honda Civic she was selling went for $3,800 but not before the woman had pulled on more heart strings than a whole Barbara Cartland back catalogue.

Apparently her husband was so mortified by the death of the dog – a boxer (the dog, not the husband, for what it's worth) – that he could no longer bring himself to even look at the car which served as a permanent reminder of his faithful mutt's messy demise.

His wife meanwhile had apparently always struggled to drive the 'stick shift' car (yeah, really, tell the dog about it) and wants to now buy an automatic, which she is obviously confident will bring fewer gruesome deaths to dogkind.

So a sale seemed the only logical option. Chalk another one up for the power of eBay but the popular auction site isn't entirely without scandal, as silicon.com revealed this week.

Recently, the company has been doing a lot to warn users of the threat of spam and phishing scams, even launching a private email system. So why is it also letting so many members sell email distribution lists and the tools for processing bulk mailings?

That's not going to help the problem of spam go away. Far from it.

The company says such sales are forbidden but at any time in the past week silicon.com has found millions of email addresses for sale – some in lists of around 300 million addresses.

One seller based in Gloucester was offering one million UK email addresses.

Ever wondered why you get so much spam?

It certainly seems that eBay simply telling those involved in the spam trade to stop isn't quite enough. Who would have thought?

The reserve for the UK addresses, on a packaged CD complete with union jack-themed cover (makes you proud), had already been met on that particular £50 lot and the same will be true of many others like it. By the time the sales are complete and the goods delivered, eBay will have done its part to further the problem of spam... and will have taken a nice little cut in the process.

A spokeswoman for eBay said the lots highlighted by silicon.com have now been removed and action taken against the sellers. She added that eBay's customer service team will also now be vetting the sites and removing any similar auctions but whether this is a long-term commitment will only become clear in time.

Certainly Steve Linford from Spamhaus believes eBay should be more vigilant about what trading it allows on its sites and be more proactive in removing such lots.

He told silicon.com he has been petitioning eBay on this issue for some time now but described the response as underwhelming.

Linford said: "eBay should be first in line doing whatever it can to stop the growth of spam, not taking a cut and appearing to condone such sales by hosting them."

Indeed.

Also on the subject of spam, the UK's All Party Internet Group announced this week it is off to Washington next month to talk to US legislators about what can be done internationally to crack down on the problem.

It's the second time the group has made such a trip – and clearly the lack of any obvious results from the 2003 junket hasn't deterred them.

Before heading to Washington in 2003 Derek Wyatt MP told journalists: "It would be a shame if we were sat here this time next year talking about the same kinds of problem."

In fact it's now been 18 months and the same issues are not only being talked about, they have got a lot worse.

But there have been some wins. A particularly nasty, non-too-bright spammer who exploited the tsunami crisis in South Asia was arrested late last week, thanks to the work of Spamhaus.

In fact Linford and Wyatt represent the differing fortunes of those locked in the war on spam. Last year Linford won the ISPA award for Internet Hero of the Year, while Wyatt was shortlisted for Internet Villain of the Year for some bungled initiatives in combating spam.

This year's shortlist was announced in full this week for the event which takes place next month at a central London gala dinner... the Round-Up awaits an invite... probably just some delays in the post... sure there must be one on the way.

Once again APIG is well represented among the villains and may go one better than last year's runner-up position. Ex-Ecommerce minister Stephen Timms is also in there, as is ex-Home Secretary David Blunkett, completing a triumvirate of politicos nominated, in his case for his Draconian privacy measures.

Oh, hang on a minute... those were actually three of the shortlist for 'Internet Hero'. Oh well, there goes the invite.

Until next week, the Round-Up is now off to find another use for a tuxedo.

Now here's some news:

Spyware: What are you signing up for?

Spammed man sued by alleged spammer wants cash

Software and hardware piracy a $90m business

iTunes hack code released on web

Google job ad looks for the dark side