The Weekly Round-Up: 15.07.05

"I was smoking a lot of dope at the time."

This is the reason given by British hacker Gary McKinnon as to why he doesn't quite remember the full details of secret US documents which, he claims, are proof of an alien conspiracy.

If you're ever going to forget the specifics of an issue it seems quite a biggie to stumble over. It would be akin to discovering the meaning of life but then forgetting it because the phone rang - or you were simply far too drunk.

The jobless Londoner landed himself in trouble after gaining access to the systems of 53 US government agencies and having a good nose around... presumably while sating his 'munchies' with crisps and chocolate.

McKinnon also claims he saw evidence on Nasa's systems to suggest the US has secret spaceships.

"I found a list of officers' names under the heading 'Non-Terrestrial Officers'," he told The Guardian. "What I think it means is not earth-based. I found a list of 'fleet-to-fleet transfers' and a list of ship names. I looked them up. They weren't US Navy ships. What I saw made me believe they have some kind of spaceship, off-planet."

Obviously there are a number of things wrong with this.

First, it's a little disconcerting to think that systems which should be among the most secure in the world can so easily be breached by a man stoned out of his mind - and McKinnon certainly shed light on some pretty porous security.

Second, and perhaps more importantly for some, where does a jobless man get the money to buy enough dope to render him unable to remember the details of an alien conspiracy?

We're not talking about slight dilation of the pupils or even a craving for Pot Noodle - this man was so high he couldn't fully recall having proven the existence of aliens.

Of course it could just be that he fell asleep while watching ET on his sofa and left himself slightly confused the next morning. But US law enforcement are certainly convinced he was up to no good.

Among the charges against McKinnon is the accusation that he made a DC computer system inoperable.

McKinnon denies this but conceded he may have deleted some government files by accidentally pressing the wrong key.

Slick.

Although McKinnon's modus operandi appears to have been 'blunder clumsily through the systems' - which may have something to do with why he was detected - it seems he's not alone (which the Round-Up doesn't actually mean in a 'we are not alone' sense, though presumably McKinnon would concur on both fronts).

McKinnon said: "Once you're on the network, you can do a command called NetStat - Network Status - and it lists all the connections to that machine. There were hackers from Denmark, Italy, Germany, Turkey, Thailand... every night for the entire five to seven years I was doing this."

Which was it Gary - five or seven years? There is quite a difference, though possibly not in his state.

McKinnon is currently fighting his extradition - and you can't blame him really as he faces up to 70 years in prison if convicted - though presumably it will feel more like 30 to 90 years.

Still he'd be a big hit on the jailhouse walkways with all that talk about aliens and secret spaceships. Fighting his corner is Conservative MP Boris Johnson.

The Round-Up is sure the Republican far right in the US judiciary will accept 'stoned' as a strong defence.

Somebody who is definitely facing some jail time in the near future is disgraced former WorldCom boss Bernie Ebbers who was this week sentenced to 25 years in the slammer for his part in the $11bn scandal three years ago which to this day holds the dubious honour of being the largest fraud in US corporate history.

Despite the defence citing a heart condition and various charitable works, Ebbers was shown no leniency. Still, it was definitely worth a try as Ebbers - despite a questionable recent track record where numbers have been concerned - will already have worked out he faces the prospect of leaving prison aged 88 if he serves his full sentence.

The former milkman and bouncer will, however, most likely be allowed to serve his sentence at a federal prison in the improbably named Yazoo City, Mississippi in order to remain close to home - which is proof, if ever it were needed, that every cloud has a slightly less crappy lining. Ebbers can be forgiven for not jumping up and down with delight at that piece of news.

Ebbers has now been ordered to report to prison on 12 October. Which could happen.

However, if the Round-Up was a 63-year-old with a heart condition facing 25 years in prison the temptation to 'do one' would be pretty considerable.

It's a fairly uncommon approach to sentencing when you think somebody has acted in a criminal manner serious enough to warrant a quarter of a century in jail and yet you give them nearly three months to make their own way there.

Frankly the Round-Up can't help suspecting that instruction was delivered with a bit of a nod and a wink - perhaps with the judge even subtly nodding towards the door with a 'what are you waiting for?' look on her face.

But it does also throw up the outside chance of Ebbers' life taking an even more unfortunate turn for the worse...

Guard: "Bernie, here's your new cellmate."
Ebbers: "Hi, I'm Bernie Ebbers..."
New kid on the block: "Pleased to meet you, I'm Gary and I believe in aliens."

The Round-Up's suggestion for who will play Ebbers in the inevitable TV movie of the whole affair is Donald Sutherland, who is also originally from Canada.

Having a better week this week was Amazon, which is about to reap the rewards of the latest Harry Potter book - released at midnight tonight.

But with each new release from author JK Rowling comes a massive logistical operation for Amazon which has to ship around half a million books to expectant customers worldwide.

It must also do so under strict guidelines of secrecy laid out by publisher Bloomsbury who is always keen to avoid leaks or spoilers appearing in the press or online ahead of the release date.

Amazon must get all this right before it can start counting the cash.

The company has been taking orders for the book at more than one per minute since its release date was announced last December. By Wednesday of this week, Amazon.co.uk had received 350,000 orders for the book - a number which was likely to increase further yesterday and today.

A spokeswoman for Amazon.co.uk told silicon.com: "The book is released at midnight on Friday and we're working very closely with Royal Mail to ensure all customers who have pre-ordered get their books on the day of release."

According to the spokeswoman books are being sent to destinations as far flung as south America and South Africa as well as large numbers being sent to overseas servicemen in the British Armed forces.

The Round-Up thinks there is something very sweet about the fact our squaddies will be sat waiting for their new Harry Potter on Saturday morning.

According to the spokeswoman the company has even received an order from the Vatican.

"Perhaps even the Pope is a Harry Potter fan," the spokeswoman told silicon.com.

Yeah perhaps, though given letters from the new Pope which emerged this week, the Round-Up would suggest that probably isn't the case.

Before becoming Pope, the then-Cardinal Ratzinger said the Harry Potter books contain "subtle seductions, which act unnoticed and, by this, deeply distort Christianity in the soul, before it can grow properly".

In a nutshell Ratzinger believes Harry Potter is corrupting children - which the Round-Up would suggest is a little bit rich given the number of child abuse cases the Catholic church has had to defend itself against in recent years. Little bit serious there but the Round-Up thinks these things should probably be kept in perspective.

But moving on...

As you read this, a plucky team of silicon.com staffers will be en route to Ben Nevis ready to begin the 3 Peaks Challenge, which the Round-Up has been trying to pressgang as many of you as possible over the past few weeks into sponsoring us. The good news for you is that this will therefore be the last time the Round-Up asks you, dear readers, for money. The bad news, for some of us, is that we're about to endure 24 hours of blisters, leg ache and - judging by the weather outside - the fates will be throwing in some heat stroke and exhaustion as well.

But it's all for a great cause and we're still very keen to push our total ever onwards.

Did you know that if everybody who receives today's Round-Up were to give just £10 we'd raise a further £1m for CARE International. If you all gave just £1 - not even the cost of half a pint down your local - we'd raise about £100,000. So please, please dig deep and give what you can by donating online.

This week we really must thank two very generous sponsors who have made fantastic donations. The guys over at Accenture have been brilliant, as have our friends within security vendor RSA - thank you both, and to everybody who has sponsored us so far.

And finally, remaining in a slightly introspective mood, last weekend the Round-Up made mention of a recent silicon.com site redesign which created a whole new area of the site for all the sorts of things you might expect to find in your ever-popular Weekly Round-Up email. There will be links to some of the weird and wonderful news stories on the net, including a mix of silicon.com stories as well as articles from many of the sites the silicon.com team read to amuse or inform themselves during the week, so check it out.

Until next week you may also find these related links below of interest...