The Weekly Round-Up: 24.02.06

"It's official", began one press release to land in the editorial inbox this week. "Developers Rock," it continued, somewhat unexpectedly.

Oh do they now?

Apparently there's nothing developers like more than to crank the volume all the way up to 11, put on some rock music and get down with their bad code – presumably stopping only occasionally for some air guitar during the more fiddly solos.

This was the result of some research conducted recently by Microsoft who found that 80 per cent of techies prefer having music to code to.

Presumably it's like 'music to watch girls by' but a little more solitary... or possibly even the developer version of the old 'bedroom playlist'.

Top of that 'server room playlist' was 'Yellow' by U2 tribute band Coldplay.

In fact, Mr Paltrow and his yawnmongers topped the poll of favourite bands as well.

The press release claims such a result dispels "the myth that developers only listen to [heavy] metal or obscure genres... "

But it doesn't exactly cover them in glory either.

"It's OK, I don't listen to heavy metal... "
"Phew... that's OK then, what do you like?"
"Coldplay."
"Get out."

Coldplay were followed in second place by U2 (irony still going strong then) and Oasis were in third place – suggesting developers can be a little bit 'mad fer it' when the occasion dictates.

The release then reports "in forth position" were Welsh rockers the Stereophonics.

At this point we'll let Microsoft's PRs off the fact they can't spell 'fourth'... especially as it would only invite criticism of whatever harmless typo has crept into this week's Round-Up. Unless of course the Stereophonics were playing a concert on the River Forth up in Scotland at the time.

"Bo'ness! Are you ready to rock?"

It's possible. If unlikely.

In terms of what the developers don't like, 29 per cent of them said hip-hop puts them right off their stride. Meanwhile 12 per cent said they'd be very unlikely to code to country and western while remarkably only eight per cent of them broke into a cold sweat at the prospect of coding to opera.

In response to this research, HMV Digital has agreed to compile some developer-friendly playlists ready to download direct from its site.

We just hope HMV knew that Microsoft only interviewed 100 people before they went to any trouble in compiling these lists.

It seems, though, there is one question which was conspicuous by its absence. The Round-Up wonders why Microsoft didn't ask the developers what music player they use.

iPod, anybody?

Moving on, Tony Blair's former spin doctor-in-chief, Alastair Campbell, has spoken out this week about his technophobic former boss (but lifelong friend, we're sure).

Campbell told Radio 4's Start The Week programme that Tony Blair has a PC screen on his desk but "it's pretty idle".

Is that because he just has a screen? Is there also an actual PC in the vicinity? Has anyone pointed that out?

Either way, it sounds like it doesn't make much difference because according to Campbell: "Tony Blair is definitely a paper and pen person."

The Round-Up thought long and hard about what 'paper and pen' could be rhyming slang for but it seems it may be literal.

Campbell too admitted to being a bit of a luddite when it comes to technology, which will come as no surprise to anybody who remembers his terrible howler involving his BlackBerry – which saw Campbell send a potty-mouthed email mistakenly to a Newsnight journalist.

Campbell told Start the Week: "I am generally always behind the times when it comes to technology. I am a bit of a technophobe."

However, he acknowledged the times they are a changin' for the media. "About a third of the younger generation use the internet as their primary [news] source," he said, according to the BBC website.

"My favourite is silicon.com," he added. "Their Weekly Round-Up makes me laugh so hard I wonder whether I might have a little accident."

(OK, the Round-Up made that last bit up... but he may have been thinking it.)

And staying with a little bit of politics, as Ben Elton may once have said before going off and collaborating on awful musicals, silicon.com ran a detailed piece this week on the issue of federated identity...

Stop, where are you going...? Come back...

So the Round-Up doesn't normally start talking about 'work stuff' on a Friday but this is interesting... sort of. You're going to hear a lot more about federation in the coming months – and it could transform the way you use government services – so why not get up to speed now.

In the instance of government, federation would mean rather than having dozens of identities with dozens of government services you would have one and they would effectively each in turn vouch for you with one another as you travel through the various systems.

'But does this mean the environmental resources manager (street sweeping) will be able to see my medical records?' you might ask.

It's a fair concern but the system would have to include layers of relevant information, accessible with tiered permissions.

Or as Andrew Lloyd, VP security management at CA, put it: "You might want to say that your wife is able to see your medical records. But you might not want her to be able to see your records from your time at university... "

Whatever could he mean (scratch, scratch)? He insisted that wasn't based on any personal experience.

As for why government hasn't already been transformed in this way Lloyd said it's "ironic" that one potentially highly beneficial scheme has been kept at the back of the queue while another far less beneficial - and far more unpopular - identity scheme has occupied government minds. What could that be?

"Ironic", that's one word for it.

Speaking, as the Round-Up tenuously did in the intro to the last piece, of comedians who have been raking it in. The marketing machine that is Ricky Gervais has taken his latest step towards world domination this week. (Though the Round-Up admits referring to Gervais and Ben Elton in the same breath as 'comedians' is like referring to Van Gogh and 'Jacko' off Brush Strokes as 'painters'.)

But anyway, remember those free podcasts Gervais recorded for his fans?

Remember the 'free' bit? Well remember it fondly, because they're soon going to be setting you back around a pound a pop.

Rest assured your Weekly Round-Up will remain free of charge... *

And sticking with comedians – we're all familiar with the idea of the 'famous **Scouse sense of humour'.

(**People from Liverpool, in England, for those who don't know... and 'Howdy' to all of you!)

Well this week that sense of humour was found to be seriously lacking when officers and staff at Merseyside Police were disciplined for sending "grossly offensive", homophobic, pornographic and racist emails, thinking them - it would appear - to be jokes.

And if you think that a picture of a black woman's body, with a gorilla's head, beneath the banner 'Miss Africa' is funny, then perhaps it is a joke, after all such things are in the eye of the beholder – but it also makes you a cretin.

The issue here isn't that some police officers in Liverpool have been exposed as having no sense of humour but rather it’s the content of these emails which has taken many people aback.

Of course, a trawl through any company's email system where there are hundreds or thousands of employees would likely find some level of offensive content – and the police, like any other organisation, consists of good people and a few rotten apples. But this is still pretty shocking.

Admittedly 90 per cent of the police force's emails were found to be related to work issues – which, as a percentage, probably puts most companies to shame - but there still exists a vast gulf between non-work related email ("Fancy a beer tonight?") and vile racism.

And Merseyside Police is now being heavily criticised for not taking appropriate action in these cases. Four officers and three admin staff have been punished – with sanctions ranging from written warnings ("shaking in my boots, Sarge") to fines – the most severe of which was £360.

A statement issued by the force said: "We have new policies in place to prevent this kind of behaviour in the future and all staff are now aware that anyone breaching the email policy will face the severest of penalties."

There's an idea.

And finally – a challenge for you. Dashing about in central London, trying to find somewhere from which to file this newsletter, the Round-Up managed to walk for a full 15 minutes without finding a Starbucks.

Can you beat that?

At one point the Round-Up stuck its head into another well-known branded-bar and asked: "Do you have wireless internet access?" The baffled and slightly affronted face which met that question looked every inch as though the question had been: "Do you breed fighting gerbils for blood sport?"

It was a simple question but an unwelcome response. So thank goodness London is getting universal wi-fi...

Until next week, be good, look after yourselves and read some news.

• Mare.D virus: Ignore the hype

• Are biometrics ready for the UK?

• China plans spam crackdown...

• UK companies told to embrace .eu domains

• Outsourcing row breaks out at Westminster City Council

*Disclaimer: Unless we decide to charge for it, of course