The Weekly Round-Up: 24.03.06

The UK is famous for many things but one event holds a special place in many people's hearts.

The back and forth, the excitement of cut and thrust rallies and aggressive volleys, breaks for strawberries and cream and the occasional glass of champagne... the world famous London venue... that's right, it's the Houses of Parliament.

However, those who spotted the tenuous allusion to Wimbledon are also on the right track as the contests taking place within Westminster these days have taken on the feel of a tennis match.

Home Secretary Charles Clarke sends the ID Card Bill fizzing over the net but the Lords counter with a stunning backhand and send it back with interest. However, Clarke throws his weight behind a full-blooded return, with a little bit of spin (passed off as amendments to the bill).

The Lords pick the spin perfectly and send it back ferociously, though spectators fearing whiplash from observing this to-and-fro get no reprieve as Clarke steps up to the challenge and fires a return to the back of the court, laden once more with heavy spin.

Like Sharapova versus Williams, by this stage the clash is getting vocal. Lord Phillips of Sudbury strikes the ball, letting out a shout of "compulsion by stealth" but Clarke volleys back with an "unacceptable" which is audible even all the way back in the cheap seats.

And so it goes. On and on with the government chasing victory on Centre Court and the Lords' returns frustrating but not dominating the arguments of Charles Clarke. For all the delays the pundits watching on from the press box are still predicting a government victory.

You cannot be serious!

Also speaking of the UK's seat of government, silicon.com caught up this week with an MP who put the boot into the technology which is available to our representatives in Westminster.

Tory MP Grant Shapps told us: "The IT here really sucks. It's easier to go work in Starbucks than it is to work here."

And he added that the lack of interest among the majority of most MPs, including the Prime Minister, means there are very few strong voices for change.

But some critics have suggested Shapps is something of a Johnny Come Lately to this cause, which is already well looked after.

"Grant Shapps says there are few strong voices to push for modernisation in the House of Commons. He should get out more and find them," wrote one silicon.com reader. "Most of the All Party Groups have been moaning about the House network since Grant was in short pants."

However, the Round-Up can't help thinking the fact these groups have apparently been moaning for at least a couple of decades*, with no progress, possibly only strengthens Shapps' claims.

(* We say "a couple of decades" based on a rough guesstimate of Shapps' age and the assumption the 'short pants' reference wasn't to any recent summer holiday attire the Conservative MP may have worn. Though Shapps, like the Round-Up, would refer to them as 'shorts' or 'short trousers'... it's an important distinction, unless you're in certain places.)

Of course nipping off to Starbucks at the moment would also allow MPs to escape the talk of scandal and accusation which has engulfed Westminster following revelations about multimillion pound loans made to the Labour Party by a raft of well-connected contributors.

Among those contributors was Capita boss Rod Aldridge - until this week executive chairman at the services giant - who came up with a commercial loan of £1m.

Aldridge said: "The Labour Party came to me last year in need of financial support following the costs incurred at the last General Election. As a member of the Party, I was pleased to help. This was a personal decision on my part."

There is absolutely no suggestion the sizeable donation played any part in Capita's successful tenders for major government. However, inevitably it is a connection that many have made and by Thursday Aldridge had fallen on his own sword amid allegations of 'cash for contracts'.

Speaking about the allegations, the outgoing Capita boss told the media: "This is entirely spurious. Whilst anyone who is associated with the public procurement process would understand that this view has no credibility, I do not want this misconception to continue."

A difficult week, then, and one which has seen friends and allies within UK IT stand by him. The Round-Up doesn't know Mr Aldridge in a personal capacity but frankly, knowing how procurement processes work, it is difficult to see how any direct link could be established... but also knowing how the media works it's easy to see why this story played out the way it did.

But not all the talk in the corridors of power this week has been of ID cards, loans and 'sucky' IT. There was also some talk of MP3 players, Mars bars and bottles of gin.

Which sounds far more fun.

This is because the Office of National Statistics has updated its shopping basket of goods used to measure the rate of inflation, ideally the rate as experienced by the average man and woman in the street.

The basket also acts as something of a barometer of consumer trends.

So, out come the slippers and chocolate biscuits (which signal a grand night in at Round-Up Towers) and in come MP3 players and music downloads, digital camcorders and flat screen TVs.

But critics have been quick to question the addition of gadgets - such as laptops in past inclusions as well - which will inevitably tumble in value, irrespective of inflation.

But a spokesman for the ONS was having none of it, saying this isn't a way of mitigating the public's perception of inflation. He told silicon.com negative effects on inflation are also relevant.

"People can generally pay less now for an iPod than they did six months ago. Such items belong in the basket just as much as those things which do not experience such price patterns," he said.

But one silicon.com reader branded that claim "utterly ridiculous". While another added it was a case of "lies, damned lies and statistics" and yet another brought out the old "smoke and mirrors" assessment applied to many government-related statistics.

The people aren't convinced.

One very obvious, though slightly tangential, example of how the cost of consumer gadgets can fall sharply is the concept of the $100 laptop which ever more people are talking about as a means for bridging the global digital divide.

However, the latest person to dip his oar in the growing debate this week was Microsoft boss Bill Gates.

Gates criticised the functionality and therefore the relevance of any computer that can be produced on such a budget and which has such minimal specifications.

But the software tycoon's pragmatism drew stinging criticism from some quarters - and suggestions that Gates' critique of the system was a denial of the basic rights of those targeted by the scheme.

One reader of silicon.com wrote in: "Bill obviously comes from a different planet where they eat the poor. Clearly, as people get wealthier, they happily lose touch with the trivial reality of poverty, developing nations and starving children."

Now the Round-Up's raison d'etre is hardly to stand up for Bill Gates but if there's one thing you can say about the man (OK, there are actually lots of things you could say about the man) he is known for doing more than his fair share of good work for the developing world and for charity.

Now sounding like an advert for the Mac switch campaign… moving hastily from Microsoft to Apple, news this week that the iTunes-owner has fallen out with the French.

France has taken a stand against the increasingly controversial issue of proprietary digital rights management, such as that used by Apple to limit the scope for sharing and distributing music and media files and to tie users into iTunes and the iPod.

In essence, proposals before the French government would mean consumers using iTunes would be able to play their music on rival MP3 players to the iPod if manufacturers and distributors exercise a right to access the DRM used by Apple which they would have if the bill is passed into law.

Two champions of the proposals, Bernard Carayon and Richard Cazenave from the ruling right-wing UMP party - a nation who've got the right 'ump, no less - said in a statement: "These clauses... should prevent the emergence of a monopoly in the supply of online culture."

And nobody likes monopolies, even Apple - or at least the company was very vocal when it was rival Microsoft in the spotlight.

But this row, according to analysts, may even see Apple turn its back on the country altogether.

Sacre bleu!

Carayon and Cazenave have urged the rest of Europe to take note and act along similar lines.

It's certainly one to watch... which is not a phrase you'll often hear applied to Channel 4 show The IT Crowd and now one IT training company has followed the Round-Up's lead by panning the programme which has ended its current run.

Mike Summers from Thomson NETg said: “It is quite clear that modern IT workers bear little resemblance to the stereotypical view of The IT Crowd. Now that IT has become such an integral part of the business, the very idea that IT workers are stuffed in a basement away from the cut and thrust is an entirely outdated concept.”

At this point the Round-Up is tempted to say 'Alright mate, calm down, it was only a comedy', except it wasn't actually very funny so the use of 'comedy' seems inappropriate.

Research from Thomson NETg found many techies actually aspire to the kind of management skills that would help them shed the 'social retard' image portrayed by the characters on their television.

But then the Thomson NETg poll which discovered those findings only surveyed 80 IT staff.

That's not even a department in many companies.

In fact, most people have more contacts than that stored in their mobile phone (based on the findings of a poll of three people conducted by the Round-Up).

And finally, last time you spoke to somebody on the phone, did you stop to wonder what they might be wearing at the other end of the line?

Understand that the Round-Up really doesn't want to hear about the kind of conversations which begin "What are you wearing?" or include phrases such as "How does it feel?" or "Have you been very, very naughty?".

We're talking more about your bog standard phone calls. And yet it turns out that 40 per cent of men and 27 per cent of women admit to holding down such calls while stood in the altogether.

Research from the Post Office HomePhone also found that many of us will actually put down the phone and walk away, leaving the person on the other end nattering on to themselves, while five per cent admitted to actually falling asleep during a conversation.

Others admitted to holding down conversations in the bath, which is OK, while others said they'll chat while sat on the toilet. Nice.

Unsurprisingly, 62 per cent of respondents admitted they keep watching TV, while women are lauded for their ability to multi-task - even if the tasks mentioned conform to a bit of a stereotype, as 40 per cent admit to continuing with the cooking while they gossip.

Which is probably best. Heaven forbid the call prevents her from getting that food on the table by the time she hears that key in the door. There'd be trouble.

Twice as many women than men will also often read a magazine while chatting on the phone though, indulging once more in stereotypes, the Round-Up can't help thinking this owes something to the typical nature of a man's phone call.

"Hello... who's playing?... alright then, which pub? ...when? ...see you there."

You don't really need to pick up a magazine to help while away the long hours of that call.

Until next week, catch up on some news.

• Employers ignore recycling

• Photos: Inside Big Blue's new RFID centre

• Give us a greener Budget, Chancellor told

• Digital TV boom-time coming to Europe

• Six-figure salary for new criminal justice CTO