The Weekly Round-Up: 8.12.06

"Deck the halls with boughs of holly... fah-la-la-la-lah, la-la-la-lah"

From that subtle opening you'll have discerned the Round-Up is starting on something of a festive note this week.

But before you too get high on seasonal cheer and start festooning your office with tinsel and baubles you might like to spare a thought for your wireless network (so not the poor, the needy or other more deserving subjects of yuletide consideration? Ed).

'Why on earth should we think about our wireless networks?' the Round-Up pretends to hear you ask.

Well it seems not only are Christmas decorations becoming increasingly contentious in these idiotically PC times in which some would see them banned lest they spark sectarian violence at the water cooler but they can also play havoc with wireless internet access.

Who would have thought that the entirely natural process of putting a hulking great tree in your office and covering it with reflective materials could interfere with radio frequency? But it does, so much so in fact that some offices may see signals deteriorate beyond the point where they would still be usable.

Wi-fi experts from AirMagnet have been warning companies this week about the impact Christmas decorations could have on wireless internet access and with many of us these days also unwiring our homes the message holds as true in a domestic setting as it does in the office.

So you should probably tell the kids they can't have a tree or any decorations this year because Mummy and Daddy won't be able to use their wireless internet access.

Not so, says AirMagnet. The company claims it doesn't want us to cancel Christmas or even to shun decorations but rather it is urging companies to think a little more carefully before they dump a tree in front of one of their access points.

Of course, all joking aside Christmas is an important time of year and we would all do well to remember it isn't just about decorations. Or expensive gifts. Or even a nice dinner.

Christmas is of course all about drinking your body weight in alcohol and many of us have our own ways of going about this, with some opting for the curious habit of choosing strange drinks which you wouldn't even think about owning, let alone pouring or raising a glass to your lips, any other time of the year?

"I'll have a vermouth and bitter lemon and Sheryl will have a Baileys please Clive..."

"Coming right up, unless I can interest you in a glass of egg nog with a dash of something medicinal?"

"No thanks Clive, I think you'd actually have more luck trying to interest me in a punch to the face."

Christmas is indeed the one opportunity we get all year to make a little more headway with that bottle of crème de menthe which goes untouched for 364 days of the year.

The problem of course is not with your experienced drinkers who will be happy with their tipples of choice – probably wine or beer, perhaps the occasional foray into a well-loved, short-lived bottle of scotch, via a charming glass of port to wash down a supper including of very lively stilton.

The problem is with the amateur drinkers. Those people who spend the whole year barely touching a drop and leaving long enough between drinks to forget what they like. Then Christmas comes along and they're like a kid in a candy store.

Out comes the Archers, the Baileys the Malibu and a strange array of mixers and all of a sudden your drinks cabinet looks more like Willy Wonka's chocolate factory than a shrine to grape and grain.

The only other effect similar to this is seen when people board aeroplanes and decide, the second the cabin doors are secured, that their drink of choice has always been a bloody Mary even though they wouldn't touch one while they were sat anywhere but onboard an aeroplane. The Round-Up holds its hands up to this offence. Never touches tomato juice (because you wouldn't, would you) unless at an altitude of at least 25,000 feet in which case the stewardesses can't juice those tomatoes quick enough.

And it's good for the testicles, apparently (though whether that's drinking or dunking, the Round-Up isn't sure – but best not to test it on a busy flight).

Where is the Round-Up going with this? Frankly who knows?

This rambling introduction was eventually supposed to bring us all around to the earth-shattering news that the Round-Up has been stocking up its own booze supplies this week ahead of Christmas.

Stop the press... journalist buys own drinks SHOCKER.

But don't worry, it wasn't full price. In common with a number of other members of the silicon.com team and the rest of the population of Britain the Round-Up has made good use of a voucher for off licence Thresher which has been doing the rounds on email this past week – you've probably seen it.

Most people have.

The Round-Up received the voucher for the first of about 10 times attached to an email from a friend. At first suspicions were raised but by the time the voucher arrived for the fifth or sixth time it was all over the news.

It turned out the voucher was intended for limited distribution around Thresher's partners and distributors but email being email its circulation started to snowball and with no controls in place such as serial numbers or qualifying criteria this presented Thresher with something of a problem.

Glum-faced Thresher spokespeople were on the news and in the papers saying 'it was never meant to happen this way' and claiming the effect could be damaging to the off licence's revenue.

But to Thresher's credit the company announced it would be honouring all purchases made with the voucher which gives shoppers 40 per cent off all wine and champagne.

However, one ever-cynical member of the silicon.com isn't convinced and spoke to a senior retail analyst who pretty much confirmed his suspicions that Thresher is actually onto something of a good thing here – and the apparent fretting about this hitting the bottom line and the insistence that it was a terrible blunder could actually be fuelling the success of the offer.

After all nothing motivates the good honest British shopper more than thinking they're getting one over on the system and exploiting somebody else's mistake.

When the Round-Up was in its local Thresher at the weekend loading up on enough wine to sink a battleship very few of the other shoppers in there seemed troubled by the notion they might be exploiting anybody's misfortune.

In fact it was like watching George Best on Supermarket Sweep – whole shopping trolleys (it's a very big Thresher) laden with bottles and bottles of claret, Bordeaux, sauvignon blanc and even the occasional rosé (don't judge, they might use it for cleaning their windows – and at 40 per cent off, why not).

More surprising perhaps was the chap amid this feeding frenzy who bought one bottle of wine with his voucher. Granted you can print it off as many times as you like but, even still, where's the ambition?

Once the dust settles it seems likely Thresher – who already effectively offers wine with 33 per cent off, thanks to a 'buy two get third free' offer – may realise this blunder was actually the viral marketing success story of the decade bringing shoppers back into its stores in their droves at the end of a tough time for the retailer.

The moral of this story?

Email is wonderful.

As is wine.

And from wine to whining. News this week that UK plans for road charging have progressed apace have angered a great many silicon.com readers.

"This is not about taxation ... it's about surveillance," raged one reader who suspects he is important enough for Tony Blair to take a personal interest in his every move.

Others branded the plans to charge drivers extra for driving during rush hour as "madness", saying few people have a choice as to when they travel and how far they have to drive to get to work.

The phrase "stealth taxes" was used with liberal abandon and 4x4 drivers across the country took particular exception to the ridiculous twin notions that children could walk 800 metres to school and a Land Rover is not an essential vehicle for conquering the hills and forest trails of the town centre.

But amongst all this rightful indignation was one voice of criticism for the naysayers.

silicon.com reader Ivan Michaelovitch wrote: "I remember hearing there'd been changes in the driving test since my day. I hadn't realised until I read this article that the changes involve a requirement to have an A-Level in whinging before you get your licence. I mean, have you ever heard such a whinefest?"

(Mmmm 'winefest'?)

Ivan continued: "Road pricing isn't a stupid suggestion. I know advanced whining is beaten into all modern drivers but why not try growing up a little, calming down, keep teddy in the car and apply some intelligence."

Clearly Mr Michaelovitch was schooled in the ways of the matador as his skilful wielding of this particular red rag demonstrates.

"We're a clever group of people," he wrote, adding "(ostensibly)" as if to prove his point with the use of a long word.

"Why not think about how such a system could work in practice and get with suggesting refinements and improvements? Or is it easier to whine all day and blame Tony? Some people really do get the government they deserve."

Yeah, get with it people.

And finally, silicon.com was delighted to see a good friend of the Round-Up is back in the news this week. Dot-com entrepreneur and famed university drop-out Alex Tew – he of the Million Dollar Homepage – has launched his latest project... and he's really reinvented the wheel with this one.

Get this, it involves one website, one million pixels and one million dollars. Genius.

There is a twist, however. This time Tew will be selling the pixels for $2 each as opposed to $1. And this time – this bit it quite important – he will be giving away $1m to one lucky person. All you have to do to be in with a chance of winning is visit Pixelotto.com, register and then start clicking on the ads.

Every time somebody clicks on an ad they will be entered into the prize draw.

And once all the ads are sold and Tew has banked $2m he will then draw one lucky winner to receive half the cash. He will also donate $100,000 to a charity of the winner's choosing, which is a very classy touch... leaving just... if the Round-Up's maths are correct... $900,000.

You have to applaud the simplicity and the execution of the scheme.

Already the pixels are selling like proverbial hot cakes (though it's unlikely their owners are tossing them from hand to hand going 'ooch, ooch, hot, hot, hot' in quite the same way).

In the first 24 hours of business Tew sold more than 100,000 of them, including a batch of 20,000 to lastminute.com, which carries the largest ad on the site at present.

And while we had Tew on the phone we asked him what advice he'll have to offer the person he makes into a millionaire. (Though by the time the award is made one million dollars will probably be about £11.50.)

"Don't spend it all," said Tew very sagely for a mere boy of 22 years.

In fact the effortlessly affable Tew's biggest luxury with his first million dollars, he said, was buying a new Mini after passing his driving test last summer.

The Round-Up can't help thinking if it was a 22-year-old lad with a million dollars in the bank it would right now be in a hot tub in a Las Vegas hotel suite, one roll of the dice from bankruptcy, surrounded by dancing girls and empty bottles of champagne.

So hats off to you, Mr Tew.

And finally, finally, this week's caption competition. It needs no introduction by now.

Last week's winner and best entries can be seen here.

This week's competition is here.