The Weekly Round-Up: 30.03.07

Go and round up all of your junior sales people across the organisation and march them up to the gallows (you have gallows, right?) because they are a liability.

Research from the security types over at MessageLabs, released this week, has shed some light on just who you can and cannot trust within your organisation.

The research reports: "The worst culprits of security breaches are junior sales men and women between the ages of 26 and 35 years old."

This is handy, because based on the Round-Up's experience of sales types, that's not their only fault. But it's always good to have some hard and fast facts to back up such generalisations.

Sales people are also far more likely to run with scissors. Probably.

MessageLabs found - some might say a little conveniently - that the best behaved colleagues within any company are the techies.

(Pause for laughter.)

Apparently, middle management males between the ages of 26 and 35 working in the technology function of the business know the most about security and what they should or shouldn't do... and importantly they play by the rules and in no way abuse their privileges.

No sir-eee.

And in other news the Vice Squad don't keep all the best drugs for their Christmas party.

But who is the Round-Up to question such findings. After all, this was a survey of almost 1,000 people. Granted it was a survey of almost 1,000 senior techies, who said - would you credit it - senior techies are the best-behaved staff in the organisation. But let's not split hairs.

Next week: 'A thousand turkeys say early Christmas definitely a bad idea'.

The survey also found more than 40 per cent of companies surveyed did not provide security training to staff. Coupled with that, only 21 per cent of UK companies surveyed are confident employees won't cause a security breach.

It must be all that training they're not getting.

Hold onto your hats! This week's Round-Up podcast has landed and the Round-Up is terribly excited. In fact, if you dear readers decide you don't want to tune in for 17 unparalleled minutes of pure, unadulterated listening pleasure, making your week end on a fantastic high, the R-Up will be seriously upset - and may even decide to call it a day. So have a listen. Go on, you know you want to… It'll be the best thing you listen to all year… better even than being told you've won the lottery. Honest!

So speaking of training, let the Round-Up mention lesson one in an occasional series of how to talk to the press.

Be careful what you say. It really is as simple as that.

For example, when a senior exec at a large telecoms company recently described burgeoning sales opportunities in the Middle East just so: "The Middle East is exploding right now", you can imagine the clenched buttocks of his PR advisors and the momentary hush that descended on the room.

But these things happen, and it would have been unfair - or irresponsible, even - to make that statement into something it wasn't. An innocent slip of the tongue is nothing to get too worked up about.

However, when an exec at Microsoft said of his company's OneCare security product recently: "It's not a bad product but bits and pieces are missing," it's unlikely things were ever going to be left there.

silicon.com's sister site ZDNet UK interviewed one Microsoft exec recently and found him to be in a fairly chatty mood.

"OneCare is a new product," he said. "They shouldn't have rolled it out when they did but they're fixing the problems now."

Yet incredibly one blogger called Robert David Graham (three first names, no surname - that's just sloppy) took great exception to the subsequent coverage which he described, rather hyperbolically as a 'hit-piece'.

The coverage "made an official Microsoft spokesman appear to be saying something that no Microsoft spokesman would ever say", wrote RDG.

"Hit-pieces like this are damaging to companies," added RDG before wheeling out his big gun... "When a member of the press catches an 'official spokesman' saying such damaging stuff, it's the reporter who is at fault and not the spokesman."

Of course it is Robert. Of course it is. And all those journalists reporting on wars are far more culpable than the despots waging them - to take things to an extreme.

The whole issue of blogging in fact has been back in the press this week with news that potential employers are increasingly searching the blogosphere and sites such as MySpace and Facebook to try to dig up more information on job candidates.

Are you sitting comfortably? Or are you even now worrying about that 'why I hate my boss' blog you set up some months ago…

If you're applying for a job consider what bosses might unearth with a bit of a search around the internet.

This is part of a whole wider issue of how people manage their digital identities and if the Round-Up could offer a second piece of advice for the week it would be: do take time to assess what your personal email address might say about you.

For example, if you're applying for a job as a Blue Peter presenter and your email address is dirtyperv69@tiscali.co.uk then try registering something a little less suggestive.

Other comedy email addresses such as charlie_snorter_666@yahoo.com should also be avoided, especially so if you're applying for the seminary.

Butterfingers85@msn.com might have seemed funny at the time but the Royal College of Surgeons may frown upon the suggestion, in the same way life sciences clinics may not be keen to get eco_warrior@aol.com in for interview.

You get the picture.

Last week the Round-Up asked you to suggest some alternative uses for iPods - beyond the obvious: use them as an MP3 player.

And dear readers you didn't disappoint. Perhaps the most innovative use was suggested by the rather wonderfully named Rebecca Burn-Callender:

"I use an iPod Nano, which unfortunately broke two weeks after I bought it, to prop up the leg of a wonky table in my kitchen. Not only can I now eat my Pot Noodle without feeling at sea but the idea of the little device being crushed slowly into the floor by the heavy table gives me no end of joy."

Those pesky iPods and their life expectancy, eh.

Another reader, a real Wordsworth of a character, simply wrote in and said "iPod dildo".

The same to you, my friend. The same to you.

Speaking of inappropriate, one company thought a fitting venue for a product launch this week would be the notorious [ahem] 'gentleman's club' Sunset Strip in the heart of London's [ahem] 'lively' Soho.

At first the silicon.com editorial team raised an eyebrow or two, wondering 'do they know what kind of place it is?' before doing some digging and finding the launch in question was of a new payment card technology that will enable web surfers to make anonymous payments, for products or [ahem] 'services' online.

Say no more, squire, say no more. silicon.com didn't attend, because our delicate sensibilities are easily shocked.

Moving on, or rather returning to our opening story of the week, it's a wonder employees these days find any time to undermine network security - what with all the Second Life they're playing.

The cult of Second Life, as mentioned in last week's Round-Up, certainly seems to be growing apace.

Only this past week one member of the silicon.com editorial team was speaking to a CIO at a leading global advertising agency who said he found one member of staff visiting Second Life for up to six or seven hours per day while at work. Yes, that was six or seven hours. (After all, a man has to take lunch.)

Incredibly what most businesses might consider unacceptable behaviour was in this instance judged to be a worthwhile use of company time by some of said company's bosses.

Apparently 'creative types' need to understand these trends and therefore must spend the best part of the working day watching people having cyber-sex in Second Life (the very name of which presupposes a First Life - and the Round-Up knows that's not always the case).

Cashing in on the Second Life bubble is the game's founder Linden Labs, of course. But it's also good news for companies such as on-demand CRM player NetSuite, which recently signed a contract to supply ERP and CRM services to Linden Labs.

So what? The Round-Up hears you ask.

Well the company simply couldn't resist getting into the spirit of things and has now joined the growing ranks of companies launching a presence in Second Life. (Perhaps it was even a contractual requirement, who knows.)

Here, in case you're interested, is NetSuite CEO Zach Nelson in digital form, standing outside the company's very faithfully rendered virtual San Matteo offices.

Nelson said: "It's always thrilling for us to see the world's fastest-growing companies like Linden Labs use NetSuite to help make their vision a reality."

He might like to look up the words 'vision' and 'reality' and then have another look at how Linden Labs actually makes its money.

(And no prizes for guessing what the pic is for this week's caption competition… Simply register a Reader Comment here, suggesting your caption, to be in with a chance of winning a bottle of bubbly. Also congratulations to Sean McDermott who correctly identified the companies mentioned in connection with the space race in last week's podcast, earning himself a bottle of bubbly.)

Speaking of aspiring mid-market CRM vendors - as we all tend to do at one time or another, possibly while down the pub with our friends. The Round-Up was briefly interested to note that Shai Agassi - a rising star within German giant SAP - has quit the software business in favour of making the world a better place.

Agassi is reportedly heading off in search of alternative fuels. Given his background in software sales he might like to investigate wind or hot air.

Why does the Round-Up mention this... well, for the shameful admission that at first glance the Round-Up overlooked a headline 'Agassi out of SAP' on the grounds it was probably about tennis.

And finally, the BCS this week revealed predictions relating to the technology of the future and how robots will be introduced as companions for the elderly who, thanks to an increasingly top-heavy demographic pyramid, will have far over-burdened what scant care facilities are in place by 2025.

Other technical aids suggested by the BCS are a hug suit, which will enable the elderly to feel virtual contact and replicate the sensation of hugging.

At this point the Round-Up is shedding a tear at the notion that mankind will ever have to sink to such depths of using technology to fool the elderly into thinking they are experiencing real human contact.

Other tech aids for pensioners will be a greater use of videoconferencing, allowing them to partake in some of the most important activities in their lives, such as going to church.

The Round-Up isn't sure at what age the church is supposed to become a more appealing destination than the pub but there you go.

On that note the Round-Up is off for a cyber pint with its gran… right after it's listened to this week's podcast. (Love the podcast? Of course you do, so why not subscribe in iTunes, here. You can also get the XML feed, here.)