The Weekly Round-Up: 09.05.08

Benefit fraudsters beware. If you're trying to pull a swift one on the authorities you may find their "liar, liar, pants on fire" accusations hold water after a national rollout of lie-detecting technology was approved this week.

A lie detector test that has slashed benefit fraud by more than £330,000 is being rolled out in the UK.

The Voice Risk Analyser system will be piloted by another 15 councils following its success in seven areas of the country.

The system detects tell-tale stress patterns in the voice of benefit claimants over the phone and tips off officials, who decide whether to investigate the claimant further.

These stress patterns can presumably be distinguished from the stress patterns in the voices of genuine benefit claimants who may be stressed because they have to claim benefits (or freaked out because they've just seen this).

The technology has apparently already saved Harrow council, one of the first local authorities to trial the technology last May, more than £330,000 by exposing about 43 people on the wrong benefits.

The Round-Up would like to think this was by emitting a loud and satisfying honk each time an untruth was uttered (although it probably isn't).

"Can I claim housing benefit? I earn peanuts."
HONK!
"Computer says 'no'."

A spokesman for the Department for Work and Pensions said the decision on whether to roll out the scheme nationwide would depend on the results of these new trials.

HONK!

The Round-Up's guessing the minister has already decided its press-friendly, vote-winner of a policy is good to go. After all, when does a minister ever take heed of the overwhelming advice of advisors when there's a personal crusade at hand?

Critics have attacked the system, claiming it could intimidate vulnerable people into not claiming benefits they are entitled to. Call it a miserable old cynic but The Round-Up's guessing the government won't lose too much sleep over unclaimed benefits.

In a statement, anti-fraud minister James Plaskitt said: "This positive and encouraging news from the pilots shows that this technology is helping to combat benefit fraud."

"It is also making it quicker and easier to review claims, especially for those people who are genuinely entitled to benefits."

HONK! HONK!

He added: "We need to continue to do more to make sure that taxpayers' money always goes to those who need it the most."

HONK! HONK! HONK! HONK! HONK! HONK! HONK! HONK!

So it's all over between Microsoft and Yahoo! although in truth, it never really got started.

Microsoft has turned its back on its $45bn acquisition target and, like the littlest hobo, has walked on down the road seeking new adventures.

Until tomorrow - as the theme tune goes. The door is still open for future talks, as we'll see in a moment, but right now the deal is dead in the water.

According to an open letter from Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer to Yahoo! CEO Jerry Yang, the sticking point came over the valuation of the internet giant. Yahoo! refused to accept a dollar less than $53bn and even Microsoft isn't that carefree with its well-stuffed wallet.

Yang blames Microsoft. "We were negotiating a way to find common ground and then on Saturday they chose to walk away. They [Microsoft] started it and they walked away," he said, making the whole thing sound like a school-yard punch-up rather than some multibillion dollar deal-making.

Yet, after all the negotiations came to an end, Yang admitted that despite all the hoo-ha about Yahoo! being able to go it alone, or possibly via partnerships with other parties - Google or possibly AOL - it is still willing to listen to future bids from other companies, including Microsoft. Make your mind up, Jerry, there's a good man.

Both companies still face the prospect of playing catch-up with Google, which dominates the mind-bogglingly lucrative web advertising market - worth $40bn last year and a predicted $80bn in 2010. So how will this miracle be achieved?

The bad news for Microsoft shareholders is that the company is planning to go it alone and rely on innovation. Oh dear. Of course, this is exactly what it was doing for a number of years before it considered spending $45bn on Yahoo!

Departing chairman Bill Gates was this week talking up the potential of the company's Live Search technology.

Lest we forget, the Seattle giant is currently languishing in third place in the US in online searches, behind Yahoo!'s 21.3 per cent and way, way behind Google's massive 59.8 per cent.

Gates added a greater investment in marketing its search tools will help the company. How about $45bn of marketing - that might do the trick.

The Wall Street Journal is also reporting that, after the Yahoo! deal fell through, Ballmer and co started sniffing around Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg to see if he was interested in selling the $15bn-rated social networking site. Apparently he wasn't.

The idealistic young internet crusader is apparently holding out for a grand old IPO, and what idealistic young internet crusader wouldn't?

Meanwhile, over at Google's Mountain View headquarters, Brin, Schmidt and Page are laughing their multi-coloured socks off...

Apple is a company that depends on secrecy to maintain its competitive advantage.

Partly, it relies on secrecy to protect its intellectual property but mostly because it lets Steve Jobs do his well-oiled PT Barnum routine each time an Apple event swings by. He just loves it.

So the Round-Up is wondering what the Cupertino gang will think of stories suggesting a launch date for the 3G iPhone.

Websites are abuzz with what claims to be an internal memo from AT&T management asking its US retail store employees not to take holiday between 15 June and 12 July due to an "exciting summer promotional launch". Now what could that be?

The memo adds: "Your management team is counting on you!" A sentiment sure to inspire the workforce as they hastily abandon possible trips to Hawaii and Mexico.

The Apple developer conference, which is likely to focus heavily on third-party applications for the iPhone following the release of the Software Development Kit earlier this year, kicks off on 9 June and ends on 13 June.

Maybe just enough time for Apple to flood the channels with shiny, 3G iPhones now that suppliers have sold out of their remaining inventory.

Want more news? Are you sure you can you handle more news? Of course you can. Come on!

Hypochondriacs of the world. Do you dream of a pair of pants that tells your doctor when your blood pressure reaches dangerously high levels? If so, then your healthcare utopia might be about to become a reality.

Now the horse has long since bolted, the government decides to shut the stable door and secure its data.

The Heathrow Terminal 5 fiasco. Technology had nothing to do with it - blame the staff. Feel any better? The Round-Up's guessing not but at least you can stop taking it out on the poor computers. Stupid, rubbish staff.

Until next week, chance your arm, or even your sense of humour, in the caption competition.

Adios!