The Yearly Round-Up: 2008

So this is Christmas, and what have you done?

Well, if you are anything like the Round-Up, the answer is: eaten too much, drunk too much (already) and failed to buy any presents. At all.

And even worse, that magical time of year (for high street retailers at least) is all but upon us - that time when it's too late for online retailers to deliver gifts in time for Christmas.

That means it's also that time of year when disorganised types (the Round-Up puts its hand up here) who did not order all their presents in November will be forced to desperately brave the shops - just like people used to do before the internet existed - in a search for that ideal present which sold out weeks ago anyway. Bah humbug.

Still, that's probably better than trying to conjure up presents out of the stationery cupboard, which didn't go down too well with the Round-Up's nearest and dearest last year. Hole punch, anyone?

Despite all this, the Round-Up loves Christmas. Silicon Towers is decked with tinsel and holly and it's the time of year to show good will to all men by falling asleep stuffed to the gills in front of the festive movie, and - of course - for embarrassing oneself at the office party.

But maybe that's just the Round-Up. It seems that nine out of 10 credit-crunched workers would rather have a cash bonus than a Christmas party.

And for those having a Christmas bash, two-thirds aren't looking forward to it and would rather spend their time with friends and family.

The survey doesn't say, but the Round-Up has a feeling, that said friends and family would also probably prefer a cash bonus rather than having to hang out with old grumpyface who didn't want to go to his own office party.

Still, we aren't the most Scrooge-like workers in Europe - that award, according to the research by Monster, goes to party poopers in the Netherlands who are looking forward to their office party the least (91 per cent of them) while the Belgians - who would have thought it - are most likely to have fun at the office parties. And are thus presumably responsible for more photocopier-repair callouts than us more chaste Brits.

To continue with the miserabilist theme (it is Christmas after all) it seems that at this time of year, if you aren't dodging the work party, avoiding getting stuck with Bernard from accounts under the mistletoe, or desperately trudging around the shops, then chances are you are in the office - bored.

And if you're going to be bored in the office, chances are you'll be doing it the Monday after next. Research has found that 29 December is expected to be the least productive day of the year with most staff admitting that working between Christmas and New Year is "painfully boring". Three-quarters will spend their time browsing the net, probably trying to work out exactly what it was that Aunt Nora got them for Christmas and where to return it to.

Of course, for some it's not festive boredom, but more of a grand, epic boredom – like being a teenager, but forever. Also according to the research by tic tac (yes really) eight out of 10 18-24-year-olds admit to being bored every day, and two-thirds "try to beat their boredom with a cuppa" (and who says rock'n'roll is dead?).

Christmas is also a good chance to look back over the year (usually though a haze of sherry and ancient Only Fools and Horses repeats) and remember the good times, and the bad - the crackers and the turkeys of the year, if you will.

Top of the Round-Up's list of Christmas crackers is Cern, which gets a big thank you from the planet, largely for not causing the end of the world (phew) by sucking us all into a black hole, as predicted by some.

This praise, however, was slightly undermined by the Large Hadron Collider only managing nine days of functionality before breaking down, and getting put out of service until 2009. So a small helping of turkey too, then.

Another big success this year - the BBC iPlayer which is now receiving more that one million programme requests every day.

It's also been a great year for netbooks - beloved of those trendsters whose manbags are too small to fit a proper laptop, or those with very small hands.

Other big news this year - Bill Gates finally (well mostly) cleared his desk at Microsoft.

Still not over the shock of Bill leaving your life? Check out the photos of Bill through the years to cheer yourself up.

There's, of course, another couple of crackers - Android made its debut this year, as did its archrival the iPhone 3G, making fanboys everywhere go weak at the knees (and light in the wallets).

Sticking with the festive mood, find out what tweaks to his iPhone one of our columnists would like to find under his Christmas tree this year

And now for a festive turkey. By this the Round-Up does not mean the dry balsa-wood tasting foul fowl that is served surrounded by bullet-like sprouts, but those stories of catastrophe that just can't be forgotten.

Squeezing in under the wire but easily qualifying as one of the biggest turkeys of the year is the Department for Transport which was accused of "stupendous incompetence" for its implementation of a shared services centre that aimed to save £57m but will now cost the taxpayer £81m. As icing on this particular cake, the House of Commons Public Accounts Committee pointed out "Yet, despite the extent of mismanagement in this case, no individuals have been dismissed or been properly held to account." Nice work if you can get it.

And finally - one of the Round-Up's younger and more ironically minded colleagues has been filling Silicon Towers with the sounds of a Chaz'n'Dave Christmas album which sparked a debate about updating rhyming slang, for the digital age.

So less 'apples and pears' and 'dog and bone' and more 'Captain Hook' (netbook), apparently.

Other 'gems' the silicon.com team managed to come up with include 'Too dear to roam' - mobile phone (the Round-Up reckons 'Grumble and Moan' is better). 'Bucket and mop' is the new 'laptop' and the Round-Up's personal favourite 'No thanks mister' for Windows Vista. Still, if any of these take off the Round-Up will eat its titfer…

That's all from the Round-Up up for this year, and it would like to wish you all a very Merry Christmas. The Round-Up will return in January (as will the Caption Competition which is having a festive break).