The Weekly Round-Up: 20.02.09

How are we feeling today?

Chilled? Relaxed? Not a care in the world?

Of course we are, because as everyone knows a job in IT is the most relaxing in the world.

Pina colada? Sure.

According to research, systems analysts and software engineers have some of the least stressful jobs around. Systems analysts and software engineers - feel free to utter a scream of primal rage now. If you haven't dozed off at your desk already.

While actuaries and dieticians were rated to have the least and second least stressful jobs available respectively, computer systems analyst is ranked number three on the list, according to the US research.

Statistician, astronomer and mathematician were also ranked among the least stressful jobs, with software engineer entering the list at eight.

The research rated the most stressful job to be that of a surgeon, followed by commercial airline pilot and photo-journalist. Meanwhile, techies keep taking a chill pill and going with the flow as easy as Sunday morning.

The researchers said the criteria used to establish the most and least stressful jobs included 21 different job demands which can be expected to invoke stress.

These include the need to meet deadlines - but apparently not the stress of installing Windows service packs or dealing with emailed requests from marketing assistants for MacBook Airs to maintain brand credibility at supplier events.

"Hi. Does anyone have one of the new skinny Nokia chargers?"

The Round-Up suspects that you've received many similar emails. Nokia, Samsung, Motorola, Bleaaurgh! If only there was a better way of connecting and recharging. Luckily there is, although it won't be with us for a couple of years.

Wireless industry association the GSMA has announced a cross-industry love-in that will see universal phone chargers shipped with the majority of mobiles by 2012.

Note the word 'majority'.

Speaking at the annual Mobile World Congress trade show in Barcelona, GSMA CEO Rob Conway said it was long-overdue that the industry found a way to end "the scourge of proprietary chargers". Curse those chargers!

This is clearly a good thing for a number of reasons. From an environmental perspective you can reuse old chargers. The universal chargers will also have a four-star or higher efficiency rating, which the GSMA says is up to three times more energy-efficient than an unrated charger. It estimates the new chargers will enable a 50 per cent reduction in standby energy consumption. Hooray for Mother Earth!

Furthermore, if you carry more than one mobile with you then you only need one charger.

Plus if you own an unfashionable phone, nobody in the office need know. You can simply plug it into any charger, hide the phone behind a monitor and slink away, your secret shame intact.

Microsoft has announced it is planning to launch its own series of branded stores in an attempt to play catch-up with the Mac-iPod-iPhone maker Apple. Easy-peasy, apple-squeezy.

The long-rumoured move to open stores comes as consumer spending is under severe pressure due to the recession, so the timing really couldn't be better. Good work, there.

Microsoft, has been left bruised and battered by the terrible reception of Vista and faces increasing competition from Apple, which is gnawing into the personal computer market (particularly for laptops) and leads the personal digital music player market with its iPod line.

So what would a Microsoft Store look like? Let's indulge in a flight of purest whimsy and find out.

For starters, as you approach the shop front you'll notice all the windows are broken - the glass held together with little sticky patches (updated regularly of course).

Once inside the store you'll be faced by a phalanx of security guards who question your every move as you make your way past the wall of antivirus software boxes and towards the software stand.

Once you've bought your copy of Vista you can take it and your laptop directly to the Downgrade Zone where a grizzled, bitter Windows Veteran will downgrade you to XP free of charge with complimentary cursing.

Once you've taken advantage of your Vista downgrade rights you're free to explore the rest of the store. Head upstairs, treading carefully around the store manager sitting on the floor muttering "I'm a PC, I'm a PC..."

Upstairs, it's all about fun.

Granted the Xbox 360 area will absolutely rock but your enthusiasm will soon wane as you head quickly through the 'Zune Zone' where industrial strength fans whirl constantly in a vain attempt to keep the music players dust-free.

Then there's the Genius Bar-equivalent where angry men with high blood pressure will shout: "Have you tried turning it off and on again?" at you as you approach.

Finally, as you leave the store you'll be handed a complimentary box of tissues because you'll have almost certainly picked up a cold while you've been shopping…

Still, it's not as if Apple Stores are 'all that'. At least not according to silicon.com's resident Mac-Maniac Seb Janacek who this week vented his spleen about Apple Stores.

Finally this week, it's congratulations and a minute's applause for former government tech supremo Ian Watmore who has landed the job of chief executive of the Football Association.

Watmore spent four years in the UK civil service before the natural progression into football.

Still, after years in the civil service Watmore must be delighted to escape from a lumbering, bureaucratic behemoth of an organisation bogged down by its own self-importance and paralysed by self-defeating decision making.

Eh? Oh.

Still, as silicon.com points out it's a great move for Ian and sets the bar high for other CIOs.

Truly, Mr Watmore has achieved legendary tech status. Probably only a CIO hooking up with one of the Pussycat Dolls could out do him now.

Top of tech news pops this week:

Facebook users throw flocks of sheep at CEO Mark Zuckerberg over the social networking site's somewhat objectionable privacy policy.

Smackdown: Jet pilots versus ID card policy makers.

Where the Mac and Windows were born.

And don't forget the caption competition.