The Weekly Round-Up: 25.09.09

Every once in a while an application comes along that defines a platform.

For the Apple II it was the early spreadsheet VisiCalc. For the IBM PC it was another spreadsheet Lotus 1-2-3. Later, sales of the Macintosh surged on the back of desktop publishing software from Aldus and others.

The 'killer app' is the mother lode for system developers, as rare as hen's teeth and more valuable than the gold fillings found within them.

Now the iPhone's time has come. You may think 30 million unit sales in two years is impressive but that's just the tip of the iceberg because Noel Edmonds has released an app that will propel sales into outer space.

The Deal Or No Deal star has introduced a new iPhone app for those who believe Cosmic Ordering can bring order, purpose and meaning to life.

"If you want a better job, a pay rise, a new car, better health for you or your loved ones or you simply desire a less stressful life, this App can assist you to fulfil your needs, dreams and ambitions," the press release modestly explains. Not bad for £1.19, I'm sure you'll agree.

Until recently Noel has kept a record of his Cosmic Orders on small scraps of paper, which, as the release points out, is "not the ideal way to keep a record of such an important part of one's life!"

Indeed it is not.

"However the new Cosmic Ordering iPhone Application provides an easy to use method for not only placing orders but also keeping a record of how and when the Cosmos responded."

The Round-Up is not making this up. Then again, the Apple fanboys have often claimed almost supernatural powers for the iPhone, so maybe Noel's app fits perfectly...

As much as we love our broadband, we loathe taxes even more. And it seems the government's final act of legislative indignity before its increasingly likely trouncing in the general election could be to usher through a tax to pay for next-generation broadband.

Minister for Digital Britain Stephen Timms said the government is committed to passing its law to charge landline owners a £6 per year tax to pay for rollout of next-gen broadband in the UK. The government believes the scheme could raise up to £175m per annum.

The proposal was originally part of the Digital Britain report unveiled earlier this summer. However, given the minister responsible for launching it stepped down, and that time is running out for Gordon Brown's government, it looked as if time was running out for another tax.

Sadly, this appears to be untrue and it may be a case of 'one more for the road'.

This week Timms said: "The levy on telephone lines - 50p a month… will be in the finance bill which I'm also responsible for at the Treasury and my aim is that we should legislate for that this side of the general election."

Timms said that while some next-gen services are already available the government needed to ensure they were "nationally available".

Sounds reasonable? Well, not quite because it's fair to say that this has got a lot of people very, very angry, not least silicon.com readers.

"Sheer bloody-minded, pig-headed stupidity and point blank refusal to listen to the public," suggested one reader comment, showing considerable restraint.

"Absolute madness," roared another reader before suggesting something to do with a haggis tax. Again, the Round-Up is not making this up.

It's a strange, quixotic move by a minister who apparently doesn't want to win any popularity contests acting on behalf of a government that desperately needs to do the opposite. Last time the Round-Up checked, phone lines didn't have the vote but phone bill payers who don't like extra taxes definitely do.

It's almost as if they've given up and are intent on creating an unholy mess for the next lot in charge to clear up.

And if they actually win? Well, it's only 50p a month but it's a foot in the door and each budget you can bet it will creep up and up. Plus, you have to suspect that it will simply be used to fund initiatives other than broadband.

Besides, it seems a little unfair for the Round-Up's 87-year-old Great Aunt Aggie to have to shell out another few quid because she owns a phone (but has no idea what the internet is) to benefit the Round-Up's young Cousin Zac in his quest to download as much music as fast as he possibly can over his super-fast broadband.

If nothing else, she ought to stop putting a fiver in his birthday card if the broadband tax does come to pass…

The IT industry is in flux, with grey-haired dinosaurs wrestling with web 2.0 whippersnappers for control of the future. Which must make staff meetings a lot of fun, a bit like The Terminator with Jaffa cakes.

So what's happening? The Generation Y types are impatient to bring the benefits of social networking and the like to the workplace. Meanwhile, the incumbent old fogies that occupy the seats of power within aren't shifting.

That's partly because they don't really get all this new technology and partly because the knees have given up and it's easier to stay seated these days.

Either way, this ongoing struggle is doing little to help Britain work its way out of recession and any opportunity the IT industry has is being held back by the current crop of business leaders who are failing to either 'get IT' or Twitter.

Also, there's the piffling matter of the education system failing to inspire young people to acquire the skills needed by the industry.

According to the panellists at a British Computer Society event, the education problem is that 12-year-olds don't want to work in an office because what they're taught is Excel and Word.

Actually, the reason that 12-year-olds don't want to work in an office is because they're 12, but that's just the Round-Up's theory.

Anyway, this scenario of fogies versus kiddies seems to ignore a whole demographic - a thick swathe of mid-thirties graduate types who never seem to get mentioned in the press.

The cunning ones who stand to take advantage of the middle ground while others squabble over the moral high ground of the future of tech.

After all, when you upgrade an operating system, you don't miss out a whole version number just for the sake of getting the very newest stuff...

Macs? In the office? Not on my watch, dear boy.

The modern techie: burning the midnight oil for no extra pay. Sound depressingly familiar? You're not alone.

O2 reveals the UK pricing that will see the Palm Pre take on the Apple iPhone.