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The Yearly Round-Up
Dear Santa...

By Graham Hayday

Published: Friday 14 December 2001

You don't know me because I've never written to you before, but my mummy says I've been such a good boy this year that I should. She says if I give you the list of presents I want for Christmas, you'll come down our chimney on Christmas Eve.

(I told mummy we don't have a chimney. She said, "That's nice dear.")

So here is my list. I hope your elves can help you with the heavy stuff, because you don't look very fit in the pictures I've seen of you.

1. Broadband internet access

Now you may think that's a bit of a grown-up thing to ask for, but we've done a project on it in school so I know all about it. A lot of people think the state of the broadband market in the UK is a national disgrace. Many say BT (our former monopoly telco) has more than dragged its feet over this. Firstly, it's been accused of rolling out ADSL too slowly. People in some remote areas still can't get it, five years or so after the first technical trials. People in Norwich can't get it. People in west London can't get it.

The people at BT get angry when they hear things like this, claiming that over 70 per cent of the population can now get high speed net access and it's not their fault if no one wants it.

Then there's the competition angle (I took very good notes in class on this bit). Oftel, which regulates telecoms here (who does it in Lapland? I'd like to know) made BT open up its local exchanges to rival firms so we'd have a vibrant market for ADSL and other services. (This is known as unbundling, but I don't like using that word coz when the big kids in the playground hear it they all charge at me and jump on me and I end up at the bottom of a large pile of adolescents. Not a nice place to be).

At the start of the year, several hundred firms were interested in taking advantage of that. In June it was 200. Now it's down to single figures. BT has been blamed for making it very difficult for other companies to get into its exchanges and install their own kit (co-location, my teacher says it's called) or sort-of piggy back on BT's own equipment (co-mingling - I like that word).

All the companies say the maths don't work. BT says they're wrong, that the economic downturn was to blame and that these companies are unfairly demonising BT. Poor thing.

Mrs Grubb (my teacher) gets cross about Oftel too. ADSL is all about net access, and most companies interested in unbundling only want to provide data services. So why wasn't it 'til the end of June that Oftel made BT open up the local loop in such a way that its potential competitors could install data-only equipment and leave out the voice stuff?

The politicians say this country should be the best place in the world to do ecommerce, but don't seem to know what to do about broadband. We've got an e-minister, an e-envoy and an ecommerce minister, but all they seem to do is give speeches.

My mummy and daddy argue about this issue late into the night (at least that's what they say they're arguing about) but neither of them ever seems to win. Perhaps now that BT has a new chairman (Vallance was replaced by Bland in April) and will shortly have a new CEO (Bonfield's replacement was named this week - see http://www.silicon.com/a49887 ) things will get better.

But at the moment broadband isn't available to enough people and it's expensive. My dad likes looking at pictures on the web (he won't show me what they are though) but says they take too long to download on a modem and he gets cross. So if you could sort that out, Santa, I'd be chuffed.

2. Ginger, or the Segway Human Transporter (SHT)

I got really excited when I first read about this (http://www.silicon.com/a41960 ) and knew I wanted one (whatever it was). But I've seen it on TV now. It looks like a strimmer on wheels. I think I'd rather have a skateboard. But if you're short of ideas, please do drop a SHT down the chimney.

3. A copy of Windows XP

That clever man Bill Gates says it's the best thing his company has ever produced, and I believe him, so I want one. Also, Sting thinks it's good too. He sang a couple of songs at its launch. My uncle likes Sting. And he drives a Ford Mondeo. (My uncle, not Sting).

Apparently it hardly ever crashes (XP, not my uncle's Mondeo - he's a dreadful driver) and has lots of clever features (some of them are listed here in case you care: http://www.silicon.com/a48459 ).

My best mate's older brother, Crispin, says Steve Jobs would beat Bill Gates in a fight any day, and reckons OS X is much better than XP. Crispin has a ponytail.

I don't really know coz I've never used a Mac (my school is very PC these days) and it is possible that I've been brainwashed by Madonna singing on that advert. I like Madonna. Kylie's better though. And Steps rule. But sales of XP have been pretty perky since the launch on 25 October, and millions of people can't be wrong. Can they?

4. A rich dad

About a year ago my dad invested lots of money in a dot-com. It wasn't doing very well, but my dad said the shares he bought were a bargain and that things couldn't get any worse.

He was wrong. They did.

So could you bring back the days of ridiculous IPOs and a generally healthy economy please? Thank you. Q2 next year sounds good to me, coz I don't want to see any other dot-coms join the ranks of the bankrupt. Or any more IT companies make major lay-offs.

for the second half of the Yearly Round-up, click here: http://www.silicon.com/a49958