To print: Click here or Select File and then Print from your browser's menu

This story was printed from silicon.com, located at http://www.silicon.com/

Story URL: http://comment.silicon.com/weeklyroundup/0,39024756,39127807,00.htm

The Weekly Round-Up: 11.02.05
Campbell's potty mouth and Carly's departure...

By silicon.com

Published: Friday 11 February 2005

"F*ck off and cover something important you twats!"

So said Tony Blair's former spin-doctor-in-chief Alastair Campbell in a potty-mouthed email to the BBC this week.

Of course Campbell's foul-mouthed tirade wasn't intended for the BBC but the Labour party's advertising agency, as Campbell wrestled with the fall-out from two shelved poster campaigns which had been attacked for alleged anti-Semitism (which the Round-Up thinks was a slightly tenuous accusation, while not questioning for one minute any suggestion that the campaign was certainly idiotic).

Campbell was instructing ad agency TBWA as to how they should handle any press enquiries and included the profane missive as a suggestion as to what he'd really like to tell the BBC.

However, struck-dumb by a severe bout of digital blunderitis, Campbell actually sent the email to very man he was abusing, Newsnight journalist Andrew McFadyen.

Oh dear.

Campbell, who put it all down to being "not very good at this email Blackberry malarkey" – and then some - then tried in desperation to cover up his error with a second email suggesting it was all one big joke – the kind he'd normally share with Newsnight presenter Jeremy Paxman.

"Final sentence of earlier email probably a bit colourful and personal considering we have never actually met but I'm sure you share the same sense of humour as your star presenter Mr P," he wrote.

That argument might be more plausible if the Round-Up could ever imagine a man of Paxman's outwardly overly-intellectual demeanour ever peppering his jokes with the F-word and casually referring to all and sundry as "twats".

In the Round-Up's opinion – switching on a finely-honed spin translator - that sentence could actually have read.

"You know I sent that email in error, I know I sent that email in error, but I'd really like you to think we could be the kind of mates who exchange banter such as that all the time ...and mates don't tell on one another, do they!?"

Campbell also included the mock suggested headline "Campbell swears shock" by way of pointing out that it really wasn't an interesting story and the BBC would be silly to share his indiscretion with a wider audience.

Funnily enough his pleas didn't prove persuasive. Which is odd, given Campbell and the BBC have enjoyed such bonhomie in the past – including some well-publicised japes and much 'banter' around the 'dodgy dossier' and the 'Gilligan affair' in 2004.

But Campbell has proven a Teflon opponent for any mudslingers in the past and has displayed more 'bouncebackability' than a whole 'dogfight' of Premiership football managers (to coin a new collective noun), so it's likely he'll come through this latest blunder with his reputation – ahem – in tact.

And the football reference is not entirely spurious, given the words of Foreign Secretary, Jack Straw who seized upon the blunder to get in a dig at Campbell's Burnley roots and his fondness for the town's football team... because that was probably the right time and the right place, Jack.

Straw told the Independent newspaper: "I say as a Blackburn fan, the fact a Burnley fan should be technologically challenged comes as no surprise."

Straw was referring to the fact Burnley fans are often unfairly savaged by the chants of rival football fans for being backwards and even in-bred – which will doubtless make canvassing in the area a fun experience for all Labour candidates in months to come.

Of course the biggest story of the week in the business world involves HP.

(And no it isn't the news that snooker player Jimmy 'The Whirlwind' White has changed his name by deed poll to Jimmy Brown as part of a sponsorship deal with HP Sauce, who will be also be sponsoring the brown ball during the Masters Tournament.)

Of course it is the news that long-serving HP CEO Carly Fiorina has been handed the opportunity to spend more time with her family.

(...or given the uncanny resemblance to Carmella Soprano, perhaps she's actually been given the chance to spend more time with 'The Family'.)

Of course Fiorina will be remembered for a great many things beyond looking like Edie Falco... For starters she represented a cultural shift from the ways of old within HP and ran headlong into those staid traditions when she took control of the largest merger in the history of the IT industry, forging together HP and Compaq in 2002. She was also hailed as arguably the world's most powerful businesswoman and a strong role model for all women looking to shatter the glass ceiling.

But not all will miss Carly. Her departure is attributed to a serious falling out and terminal difference of opinion with other members of the HP board.

Upon news of Fiorina's departure HP's share price leapt 10 per cent.

(On a slight aside, if you ever wondered what the HP 'hot seat' actually looked like, take a look at the desks of founders Walter Hewlett and Bill Packard – preserved for posterity to this day and photographed by a silicon.com journalist last week at their Page Mill Road office, Palo Alto. Note the absence of computers on their desks. Note also one of them took to stapling world currencies to his desk set... we didn't like to ask...)

So what next for Fiorina? A few big CEO positions have been snapped up recently – including CA, Dell, Siebel - but outside bets include political office. What price Carly Fiorina for first female President of the United States?

Another tech figurehead being linked with a CEO position is Microsoft chairman Bill Gates, no less.

Scurrilous rumours – no more - in the darkest corners of the internet – well, the SiliconValleyWatcher.com blogsite – suggest he may be yearning for the position he surrendered in favour of old chum Steve Ballmer five years ago.

However, the Round-Up urges you to file this information under 'tenuous gossip', somewhere in the back of the mental filing cabinet, in a drawer marked 'don't sue the Round-Up if it's a pack of lies', quoting as it does no stronger a source than an ex-employee.

But at the end of the day, CEO, chairman, founder, chief software architect... what's in a name?

Well, quite a lot if you work for Euroscience, an organisation founded in 1997 for the European research community, comprising 2,100 individual members and 31 institutional members from all walks of academia and industry.

So, imagine the surprise (times 2,100) when Bill Gates stood up in Prague and announced the launch of a new European research initiative called... wait for it... 'EuroScience'.

"But, but, but... that's our name," said lots of slightly offended scientists, probably, in a variety of European languages.

However, far from feeling dejected or meekly surrendering control of their name, Jean Patrick Connerade, president of the original Euroscience, took the opportunity to take a few cheap shots at the Microsoft boss... and aren't they just the best kind of 'shots'. (With the possible exception of tequila slammers served by a Latino lovely in a dusty bar as the sun glides effortlessly above the horizon...)

"Mr Gates does not approve of software piracy, so I am sure he does not intend to steal our name," said Connerade.

Ooh touché...

Addressing the confusion between the names, Connerade, clearly warming to his crowd, said: "If Mr Gates wants to help us by injecting millions of dollars into Euroscience, then that is wonderful but I am surprised, as the elected president of Euroscience, I was not consulted."

Oh, Jean Patrick you are really spoiling us...

According to reports Microsoft is now involved in discussions with Euroscience to resolve the issue.

Whether those discussions involve a chequebook and an ultimatum is anybody's guess but hopefully they will be holding out for some serious 'research budget'.

Also on an academic theme, the controversial – and let it be said uncommunicative - University of Calgary this week announced plans to teach students of its Computer Science faculty the art of writing spyware and spam tools.

Back in 2003 the same University sparked a right old kerfuffle when it announced plans to teach its students how to write viruses but reaction this time around has so far been a bit more reserved... even, say it quietly, approving.

Steve Purdham, CEO of SurfControl, said he'd certainly look favourably upon any applicant who was a graduate of the course.

"If we're looking for an engineer to help us combat problems like spam then we'd rather have somebody who has already been taught about these things and who knows how they work."

Purdham said it does the students and the university a great disservice to assume they will abuse the knowledge rather than put it to good use.

"It's like teaching safe sex," he said. "Rather than hiding ourselves away from this stuff and mystifying it – which can actually make it more appealing – we need to understand the mechanics in order to protect ourselves."

And speaking of sex - well, sort of - this coming Monday is St Valentine's Day, a chance for people to let their loved ones know they're loved or let those they admire from afar know they've an admirer. (Tip for the would-be romancers out there: while handwriting can betray who you are to a close friend, don't write your anonymous note with cut out letters from magazines and newspapers – the object of your affections will think you've kidnapped their pet.)

Of course Valentine's Day is traditionally an opportunity for technology vendors to put out vaguely romance-themed press releases – such as Sanyo who announced "Sore palms and thumbs could be endemic come February 15..." (which coincidentally is the shared birthday of two, that's right TWO, members of the silicon.com edit team… so get sending those Amazon vouchers).

Apparently, before anybody's filthy mind runs away with them, this epidemic will be due to the sheer number of text messages we'll all be feverishly exchanging with loved ones.

OK, so it won't, but they couldn't just write: 'People will send messages this Valentine's – because it's what they do', and no PR company worth their salt would pass up the tenuous annual Valentine's angle.

More than half the 18 to 35-year-olds interviewed by Sanyo said they would be sending a picture message or video message (oh yes!) to their amore this Valentine's Day. The company also noted the move to 3G is making special occasions all that more special.

After all a picture speaks a thousand words... which on average makes a picture message 37.48 times better than a 160 character SMS message.

But Valentine's Day is also, sadly, a time for broken hearts, as the lonely cry into their Tesco Value Scotch-Broth-For-One thinking about the ifs and buts of what might have been.

Either that or it's the opportunity to bask in the glory of singledom and rejoice at not having to buy tat from Clinton's.

But whatever your reason for being footloose and fancy-free one online dating agency has got the male readers of silicon.com squarely in its sights.

It seems some clever soul has worked out that many of the most eligible bachelors out there are working in technology, where the old 8:1 ratio of men to women means love in the workplace is far from a given.

The most in-demand fellas are apparently 'GENTS' (cue the neologism department) 'Genuine, Eligible, No Ties males' aged 36 to 50, according to Xfactordates.

And according to other research out this week, contrary to popular opinion the male IT professional holds down the fifth most attractive occupation to the opposite sex... only beaten by surgeon, barrister, company director and, ahem, 'journalist' - the Round-Up isn't making this up.

So if you're thinking, come Monday night, that you spend more time looking at your monitor than you spend looking into the eyes of a beautiful woman you might like to investigate further.

Xfactoredates claims its speed-dating service is also ideal for the hard working, cash-rich, time-poor, love-to-give techie who still works above and beyond the call of duty in terms of hours. So get involved.

(Any success stories of finding love online... or in the tech workplace, drop us a line at editorial@silicon.com)

The Round-Up is now off to lock itself in a room until the media promise to stop talking about Charles and Camilla, while you read some news...