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The Weekly Round-Up: 06.05.05
More than just a General Election...

By silicon.com

Published: Friday 06 May 2005

"Are you thinking what we're thinking?"

Now, that really depends on whether you're thinking those crates of champagne were a big waste of money Mr Michael Howard.

If that's what you're thinking then yes, we're right behind you – 100 per cent.

Of course Tony Blair has once again been elected as Prime Minister, to the surprise of absolutely nobody, even though his powers have been severely diminished.

The War in Iraq clearly weighed heavily on voters' minds, nowhere more so than in Silicon Towers' own East London constituency, where Labour managed to lose a majority of 10,000 to anti-war protester George Galloway.

And there was a moment yesterday when there was talk of an even bigger scalp falling to anti-war sentiment after some high-tech hi-jinx.

Some interest was injected into the contest by an apparent hijacking of the Blackburn Council email system, which started pumping out emails telling the electorate not to vote for Labour Foreign Secretary Jack Straw (who still managed to hold on to his majority, while citing "egregious" forces which would have had him lose).

Of course Straw angered millions across the UK when he, along with Tony Blair, took the country to war in Iraq but among those who took greatest exception to his trigger happy politics were voters in his own, quarter-Muslim constituency.

The email said: "Do the decent thing and sack Jack".

Many voters may have suspected straight away that it wasn't an official Council order.

The email also urged voters to back an independent candidate - the former British ambassador to Uzbekistan, Craig Murray... who might well therefore be the first port of call for those currently investigating the rogue email. Not that the Round-Up is suggesting Murray is implicated at all but given the facts it would be remiss not to at least eliminate him from the enquiries.

The brief message also found time for a slightly incongruous dig at IT services firm Capita – lovingly dubbed Crapita by finer satirical minds than the Round-Up - following a spate of consistent failures over government IT projects.

"This is the party that swaps votes for peerages, and brought you Capita!," the email said of the Labour Party.

And lest a day should go by when John 'Two Jabs' Prescott didn't court some controversy, the Dumpy Deputy indulged in last minute electioneering, which goes against polling day convention. He didn't, however, punch anybody – so it's swings and roundabouts really.

Prescott emailed thousands of Labour supporters reminding them to go out and vote.

"What's that you say, an Election? Today? Well I never... good job you reminded me."

The thought that some may not have noticed there was an election going on this week was not unique to Prescott within the Labour Party.

A request for information this week into the party's head office from a colleague was met with a terse response along the lines of 'don't you know there's an election on?'.

Funnily enough, we did. It's probably why we were asking questions about party policy ahead of said General Election.

The actual counting of votes brought mixed news for the high-tech community. While one IT millionaire, Adam Afriyie, claimed the Tory job in Windsor, the sometimes influential and generally well-intended All Party Internet Group was almost wiped out in a single election.

Richard Allan, perhaps the most tech-savvy MP to date, had already announced his intention to stand down at this election while APIG Treasurer Brian White, Labour, lost his seat in Milton Keynes North-East. APIG chairman Derek Wyatt meanwhile hung on by just 79 votes to his Sittingbourne constituency – meaning proposed reforms to the Computer Misuse Act will live to fail another day.

Things weren't so tight for former e-Minister Stephen Timms who enjoyed one of the most comfortable nights of any Labour MP, in East Ham. His replacement, Mike O'Brien, is also safe with a 16 per cent majority in his Warwickshire constituency.

One of the biggest topics for debate during this General Election – at least for those who were 'thinking what he was thinking' - was the issue of immigration and offshore and overseas workers.

The subject seems unpopular with many, whether the workers in question are 'over here' or 'over there'... but what about if they were on a big boat – then what do you do?

Two enterprising entrepreneurs, or media-hungry charlatans depending on your take, have hatched a plan to fill a cruise ship with software developers from Russia and India which will drop anchor three miles off the west coast of America... almost within touching distance of US soil. (Start those swimming lessons now, visa-less tech workers.)

The company behind the plan is advertising it as 'Bringing US jobs and dollars back to America'...and it's doing so quite literally, putting the people who now have those jobs on a ship and sailing them back.

They're calling this new business model 'hybrid-sourcing' – because we need another phrase in the high-tech business lexicon.

Bosses in the US who opt to use the service will be able to take a short helicopter trip out to the cruise liner to check on the progress of their projects – which may be more appealing to some than flying to Bangalore.

But the most controversial element of all this, perhaps, is the fact the developers will be able to go ashore to the US on 'shore leave', without the need for the troublesome visas which will already have tripped them up, because they will technically qualify as sailors. No, really.

Can you see what they've done there?

The Round-Up pictures scores of happy Russians and Indians quite literally dancing through this loophole onto the quaysides of California.

The Round-Up is going to go out on a limb here and guess there may be some disparity between how many software developers head off for shore leave and how many of them return to the ship in order to work the following Monday.

In an attempt to 'keep them honest' the company is promising to sail the liner down to Mexico every now and again for a staff holiday. So Mexicans watch out for the influx of cabin-fever crazy techies.

But there is something of a precedent here. And look no further than the world of sport.

In 1956, members of Hungarian football team Honved, plus scores of their fans, decided against returning to their revolution-torn homeland after an away game in Bilbao, favouring sunny Spain to their own precipitous political climate.

Since then there have been numerous similar incidents - perhaps most famously a number of Eastern European and Asian athletes who attended the 1984 Olympic Games in Los Angeles and decided the flight home would definitely be worth missing.

It sounds as though LA could be on the verge of taking some new arrivals again.

"Where are you going...?"
"We're just going ashore to buy some postcards..."
"What, all of you?
"Yeah..."
"You're coming back though, right?"
"Of course we are..." "Well we'll see you soon..."

"...don't hold your breath."

Interestingly, though, such attrition of the workforce poses less of a headache to the company running the liner than it does to the US Citizenship and Immigration Services, as around half the applicants for places on the good ship hybrid-source have come from Americans so far.

But before you go dusting off you CV, we return to the question of genuine business model versus cheap media stunt (you may have noticed we've not named the people behind this while we weigh up the 'oxygen of publicity' side of this story).

Firstly, the business is yet to acquire its ship.

By anybody's standards that's going to be a major hurdle to clear. After all, silicon.com could start offering trips to the moon from next week. We just need a space shuttle.

And the brains behind this have clearly not accounted for the fact their ship would actually have to be 12 miles from shore to be in international waters – though granted this is a minor point.

However, the Round-Up does particularly like this detail.

Interestingly if the ship does enter US water without being registered to a country or displaying that country's flag, it will legally be classed as a pirate vessel and can be sunk – which sounds like a wonderful law that should probably have been written out of the rule book some years ago but has long been overlooked.

And in terms of complex legal matters the Round-Up is put in mind of a famous old Nevada hotel whose swimming pool was actually built across the California border.

The shallow end was in Nevada, the deep end was in California. And while it was claimed the gamblers in the Nevada end of the pool could play blackjack it was often rumoured that they faced arrest if they floated into Californian waters on their lilo while still gambling.

Similarly there are questions about the legal implications of this venture which will flirt with California waters. The question of employee rights, social security payments and taxation in international waters will have to be addressed as will data protection and intellectual property rights.

And then there's the small matter of those CIOs who might otherwise have contemplated this, had it not been for watching 'Titanic' at the cinema. It's a braver man than the Round-Up who puts his business in the fickle hands of Poseidon.

There has also been some talk of the ship being registered in Bermuda and while the island paradise may be known as a haven for many an interesting business it is also notorious for ships going astray.

Speaking of matters nautical... silicon.com received the strangest of spam emails this week. It was a fishing email. Not a 'phishing' email you understand, as one might expect these days, but an actual fishing email.

We're so accustomed by now to phishing emails attempting to steal our bank account details that when an unsolicited email arrived telling us where to catch the best big game fish we were genuinely thrown.

Somewhere in Florida, some not-too-bright would-be cyber criminal has not just got the wrong end of the stick, he's picked up the wrong stick altogether.

"Yeah, I've heard there's a lot of money to be made from fishing emails."
"You know they're not really about 'fishing', don't you Hank?"
"What's that you say...?"

Whatever next? Unsolicited emails actually marketing spiced ham products?

And while the male, hunter gatherers go fishing the women-folk stay indoors and do chores such as laundry...

...so once it may well have been but no more, especially not if one Spanish design agency has a say in it.

A biometric device, called 'Your Turn' has been brought out to ensure nobody takes liberties with the loading of the washing machine – by which they mean 'ensure men do their fair share of chores'.

Couples will have to register their fingerprint with their home PC which synchs with the device on the washing machine. In order to unlock the washing machine and do a wash they must use their fingerprint to identify themselves.

If the same person tries to load the machine twice in a row the machine will not allow them to do so - the idea being that it will encourage couples to take turns.

It will also stop any intruders in the home putting on a quick spin cycle... or meanly sneaking a new red sock into the machine's drum to scupper a potential whites wash.

Biometrics have long been questioned on their rise to widespread acceptance. And innovative uses within the home and office will go some way to undercutting public apathy towards public sector implementations. However, it's unlikely a biometric washing machine will prove to be that catalyst for public approval.

The greatest irony of all of this is that the designer, Pep Torres, came up with the gadget after being approached by a white goods firm to come up with an innovative Father's Day present.

The Round-Up thinks it's pretty safe to say he failed. It's not difficult...

What Dads want for Father's Day:

1) Tickets for tour of favourite brewery.
2) 24 golf balls.
3) Subscription to Sky Sports.
4) Some peace and quiet.
5) First choice of the Sunday papers.

...not... and this is an important detail, NOT:

6) Something that will make sure they do more chores.

But of course any man worth his salt will quickly work out this easy behavioural pattern:

Sunday am: 'The Wife' loads the washing machine.
Sunday pm: 'The Wife' unloads the washing machine.
Monday am: 'He' activates biometric pad on empty washing machine and sets it on a quick spin while 'The Wife' is in the shower. Job done.

...and then, when...

"Right Mr, it's your turn to do the laundry."
"Sorry love, I don't think so, I'm sure I did it last time, but we can check with the machine who last used it..."

It's the job of 10 seconds... but the biometrics never lie.

Now, 'are you thinking what we're thinking?'... that's right, it's almost the weekend.

Have a good one and the Round-Up will be back next week. Until then, here's some news: