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The Weekly Round-Up: 10.03.06
The Blair Switch Project...

By silicon.com

Published: Friday 10 March 2006

Tony Blair this week became the latest politician to go for the 'tell people you've got an iPod and they'll all think you're cool' approach to public image management. He follows Conservative leader David Cameron (which may be the first and only time the new Tory boy hears things in that order).

However, in keeping with recent revelations from former spin doctor Alastair Campbell about the fact Blair still largely shuns the use of modern technology, the Prime Minister did admit to not really 'getting' the Apple device and added that his daughter has to load the songs for him.

So the iPod, which has been lauded as a triumph of interface design, is beyond the grasp of the man whose finger hovers over our 'big red button'.

Worrying?

Just a tad.

Blair said: "My daughter does all the songs, I'm not very good with the technology. I'm not very good with any aspect of it."

Oh dear.

However, sensing this might be a good time to win over the 'yoof' vote, Blair, who let's not forget was something of a 'rocker' in his day, confirmed that Christina Aguilera is among the acts stored on his iPod.

The Round-Up does take some solace from the image of Blair sitting in his ministerial limo, humming along to Christina Aguilera songs and singing charming little couplets such as:

"I need that, uh, to get me off,
Sweatin' until my clothes come off..."

Still, whatever gets Cherie in the mood.

Blair was speaking to TV chat show legend Michael Parkinson on ... well, Parkinson.

As such, he may well have missed the 'yoof' vote, as they were probably all out doing whatever teenagers do under a Labour government. (Fill in your own activity as befits your own politics or region.)

However, his 'Dumb old me, I can't even work my iPod' approach might win over some floating voters in the technophobe camp...

That is, assuming he faces another public vote of any kind and assuming they don't think 'Good Lord. And this man runs our country?'

Naturally the Round-Up wonders what other artistes Blair may have on his iPod. A few spring to mind, though in the interests of political neutrality it may be safer to throw the choice open to you, dear reader. Feel free to email suggestions to editorial@silicon.com.

The Round-Up is expecting at least one reader to get on their soapbox and suggest a song from The Cure album Boys Don't Cry - and it's not '10:15 Saturday Night'. (Though, interestingly, that is when Parkinson was on. Spooky!)

One final word on this story before moving on. It's unclear whether Blair's iPod is formatted for use on a Mac or a PC. But if it does happen to be the latter then it may be time Apple brought its campaign to convert Windows users to Downing Street.

They could call it the Blair Switch Project.

(Ed note: Groan!)



Moving on, hastily, but staying on the subject of modern technology reaching into areas of public and personal life often perceived as dour or serious, news this week that Hull City Council is to start streaming coverage of funerals on the internet took the Round-Up a little aback.

In fact the exact words were: 'They're going to do WHAT?' We've heard of aspiring stars who are 'dying to get on television' but surely this is a step too far.

Even as we speak webcams are reportedly being installed at a crematorium in the north-east city. The council said the work is being carried out in order to enable mourners around the world to watch the funerals without having to travel all the way to Hull.

So it's something of a double-edged sword really.

You've lost a loved one, sure, but at least you don't have to travel to Hull, which in 2003 was voted the number one Crap Town in the UK by readers of The Idler. (The Round-Up doesn’t have an opinion, in fact it's never been there... so don't blame us, blame The Idler.)

At the time it was noted by one contributor to the survey that Hull's very existence represented "a sad story of unemployment, teenage pregnancy, heroin addiction, crime, violence and rampant self-neglect".

But now the council has decided to start broadcasting funerals on the internet, the Round-Up is sure that a change for the better is on the cards.

Apparently, and again this is a fact which perhaps does little credit to the people of Hull, the BBC reports that staff got the idea after watching people recording funerals on camcorders.

Excuse me. They saw them doing what?

The only such instances the Round-Up is aware of tend to involve the FBI when they are filming the attendees at mobster funerals – and even that is on the television. Were Hull City Council's finest minds watching The Sopranos by any chance?

But really, who videos a funeral?

"Come on Mum, give us a wave for the camera... no? What about a little smile then? Oh, suit yourself... Uncle Gerald?"

And when is that video tape ever going to see the light of day?

Having to endure videos of weddings and family holidays is one thing but to make somebody sit through a funeral is something else.



From talk of funerals now to a story to warm the cockles of the heart.

BT is capitalising on the upheaval at rival Cable & Wireless to offer an easy escape route for customers who have been told by C&W they've got 90 days to find a new supplier.

BT has set up a free helpline for worried C&W customers and is urging them to call to find out what options are available to them.

Presumably their answer will be "BT", though the incumbent telco has admitted the phone isn't exactly ringing off the hook just yet... give it time. After all, 90 days is a long time and the Round-Up is sure that such benevolence won't go unrewarded.

"I'd be surprised if we'd had anything but day one interest," said a spokesman for BT, leaving the Round-Up to presume that 'day one interest' is the kind of interest you see on day one of something.

However, the implication that things are quiet seems a little at odds with what the Round-Up thinks of as 'day one interest'.

Has this person never stepped over the prone bodies of trampled old ladies to get into the first day of the sales or fought with the teens and the Blair family for tickets to see Christina Aguilera when they go on sale?

OK, the Round-Up hasn't done either of those things but imagines they aren't synonymous with the following conversation:

"How are things?"
"Oooh, you know... quiet..."



Speaking of shopping and sales and the like, some research carried out by silicon.com this week revealed the extent to which we're likely to turn our backs on a favourite online retailer after they have let us down.

It seems, quite rightly, we're an impatient bunch with more than half of us likely to draw the line at a second chance... which seems plenty charitable - loyalty only stretches so far.

In total, 44 per cent of respondents said they would give an online retailer a second chance to get it right, while 14 per cent said 'no way never, they can go 'do one'... and forget about me ever darkening their doors again' (though we worded that option a little differently for the survey).

However, the stat the Round-Up thought most alarming was a remarkable - which is one word for them - two per cent of respondents who said a retailer could let them down three times and more and they would still keep coming back with an apparently masochistic desire never to receive anything they order.

"Hey it's only money, flights, hotel rooms... what does it matter if they get it right?"

(Apparently it matters quite a lot according to this week's Web Watch column.)

And on the subject of polls, if you've time we’d appreciate it if you'd take our latest poll and let us know what you think about ID cards - particularly if you've changed your opinion in the past year.



And finally, in past weeks silicon.com has been quite critical of the hopeless wannabes who are looking to ape the success of The Million Dollar Homepage by coming up with nothing more intelligent than a poor man's version of Alex Tew's original.

We've suggested they will all fall flat on their uninventive faces but this week we saw one which if nothing else at least gave us a good laugh.

The site can be found at CamKaraoke.com and the idea seems to be that sponsors can put their name to the bricks on the homepage which will, as the name suggests, surround a screen occupied by a man singing karaoke.

So it's moved on a little.

The man in question is Fred Marshall and he already has some sample videos of him singing everything from 80s rock to popular ballads, via hip hop, soul and 90s pop music. (Tony Blair - check him out.)

When Fred emailed us we really didn't want to like it... but we can't help.

Trawl the video archive here.

If you've already eaten, you may want to avoid 'When Doves Cry' and all the ballad sections. The Round-Up's suggestion would be to check out 'Achy Breaky Heart' in the country section. Never has there been a song more deserving of such a brutal murder.

And Fred wears a hat.

And he dances.



Until next week have fun. And if you get bored of Fred Marshall you could always read some news.


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