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The Weekly Round-Up: 02.03.07
'And now the Snooze... '
By silicon.com
Published: Friday 02 March 2007
"They've killed the Simpsons!"
Imagine the Round-Up's surprise upon getting home last night and settling down for a couple of episodes of The Simpsons on the old goggle-box, only to discover that some petty spat between Sky and Virgin Media ended any chance of doing so.
It seems Virgin Media has accused Sky of picking its nose and eating it, while Sky has retorted by saying Virgin Media's mother is a dinner lady... or some such childishness.
It seems the whole debacle began last year when Virgin and Sky decided they were both going to branch out and try to be all things to all people.
Sky bought itself Easynet to become an ISP as well as a satellite broadcaster, burning its bridges with former partner BT in the process. BT promptly announced plans to roll out its own IPTV offering (and launched a series of depressing television ads featuring a soulless and loveless family starring that slightly gangly looking fella off of Love Actually and that terrible programme with Robert Lindsay).
Meanwhile across town, Virgin became part of cable TV uber-chimera NTL:Telewest to offer a wide range of services from mobile phones to internet, via pay-TV (transatlantic flights, cola flavoured drinks and trains - though the less said about the latter the better). And in November 2006 Virgin Media had attempted to add ITV to its media empire but hit the considerable roadblock of Sky's 17.9 per cent stake in the terrestrial broadcaster which is now a matter up for discussion at Ofcom and possibly even one for the Competition Commission.
Cue fresh negotiations about what Sky content Virgin Media would be able to broadcast to its customers. Discussions soon became bitter and increasingly acrimonious leading to full-on public bickering in the form of full-page newspaper ads and cringe-worthy television slots.
Neither party has emerged with any credit though the Round-Up can't help thinking Sky raised the bar for childishness in this whole affair, doing with its channels what an affronted child might do with their football if the game wasn't going their way.
That said, Virgin Media responded to the challenge with an act of childishness so juvenile it put Sky back in the shade.
Once the Sky channels were taken off air Virgin Media changed the name of Sky News to 'Sky Snooze - try BBC' and Sky Sports News to 'Old Sky Sports Snooze'.
Genius really. Viewers switching to the channels will also be met with the following message: "Thanks to Sky, some of the non-premium Sky channels, like Sky One and Sky News are no longer available. They've picked up their ball and gone home.
"We believe that Sky want to limit your choice and force consumers into switching service."
Which is probably true, if a little obvious.
Over on Sky One - or rather where Sky One used to be - there is the following message:
"Thanks to Sky, the Sky One channel is no longer available. They've picked up their ball and gone home. Foul play? We think so."
And the Round-Up couldn't agree more. Of course, the Round-Up has a vested interest in all of this - it can't watch The Simpsons now - but others are also being critical of the way the two companies are conducting themselves.
Analysts Ovum described the very public spat as "self-destructive PR", which seems a fair reflection of the image both brands are carving out for themselves.
They should all just get together over a game of golf and thrash it out like men.
That is if they can find a golf course that isn't overrun with techies unwinding after a hard week at the IT coalface.
A staggering one in four senior techies unwinds on the golf course making it without doubt the sport of choice for the modern tech professional (and beyond criticism from the Round-Up for fear of offending any important readers.)
Michael Klat, from Symbian, for example said: "There is nothing more satisfying than taking out your frustrations on the golf course."
Clearly Klat has never seen the Round-Up hacking its way around 18 holes, shanking balls off into the woods and wading in to water hazards to retrieve lost balls (hey, at £1.50 it's not being left for the fishes to play with).
Golf is a cause of frustration, not a remedy for it.
But Klat is resolute. "As long as I've got time to play a round or two then I am a happy man."
Good for him. But further down the list of techies' leisure pursuits revealed this week in a survey, things become a lot less inspired (yes, less inspired than golf).
It seems after a hard day in front of a computer 13 per cent of techies like to unwind by, wait for it, sitting in front of a computer some more.
Did somebody say busman's holiday?
That can't be healthy - and if proof were needed that too much sitting in front of a computer is bad for you then look no further than the plight of a 26-year-old man in China who died this week following a seven-day stint at the computer playing an online game.
He was also obese - tipping the scales at around 23 stone - which probably didn't help matters.
The news has once again sparked talk in the Far East of the sheer number of young people who are addicted to online games and spend hundreds of hours per month in front of their screens.
Alarmingly, according to Chinese media reports, around 2.6 million under-18s in China are classed as gaming addicts.
Moving on, to possibly the most confusing story you'll read this year…
It starts back in the early 80s when Olive Watson, daughter of former IBM president Thomas J Watson Jr, started a relationship with her lesbian lover Patricia Spado.
All fairly straightforward thus far, right?
After they had been together for around nine years the couple decided they wanted to make their love official. Of course, in early-1990s Maine, attitudes weren't as liberal as they are now and the notion of same-sex marriages was right up there with monkey tennis or the idea of a wind-up laptop.
So, in order to get around this, Watson and Spado entered into a curious union in which Watson adopted Spado as her 43-year-old daughter.
Sounding more and more like a plotline from a US soap opera the legal adoption meant Spado became the granddaughter of Thomas J Watson Jr and thus qualified for a share of a trust fund set up for all of his grandchildren.
Love turned sour however and the couple separated in 1992 but agreed Watson would remain Spado's legal mother and Watson signed an agreement promising she wouldn't attempt to annul the adoption.
When Thomas J Watson Jr died in 1993 the trust fund was opened and Spado was able to claim her share. Or so she thought - but Watson's other 18 grandchildren had different ideas and fought her claims.
The adoption has already been annulled in Connecticut where Watson died and the fund chief - the inventively named Thomas J Watson III - is fighting for a similar annulment in Maine, while the other grandchildren are claiming the money was intended only for blood relatives.
This story could only get stranger if Thomas J Watson Jr now burst through the door pronouncing: "So you thought I was dead, did you... ?"
And from intrigue to scandal. Brits - normally such a polite and unassuming bunch - have been crying foul this week about the latest evidence to emerge that we are indeed living in 'rip-off Britain'.
Microsoft Vista Ultimate retails in the US at $398.99 yet in the UK it retails for £369.99 - almost double the price for exactly the same software. Shocking.
Of course this isn't unique to Microsoft. All packaged software it seems is subject to the same hike when it crosses the Atlantic. Scandal.
In fact passions are running so high that a petition has been set up demanding action from the Prime Minister, no less, to end this madness (though if recent ID cards or road charging petitions are anything to go by, we can probably assume Blair will give this petition his fullest attention).
And finally, congratulations to silicon.com reader Martyn Reason who won last week's competition and has bagged himself a bottle of bubbly as a result. And this week we're repeating the offer. Tell us which movie star and some time martial artist is mentioned in this week's Weekly Round-Up podcast - and you'll be entered into our prize draw for a bottle of fizz next Thursday. (You can also subscribe to the R-Up podcast in iTunes, here - or pick up the XML file, here.)
It's a win-win situation. You stand the chance of scooping a bottle of bubbly and you get to listen to the podcast - you lucky, lucky things. Email your answers to editorial@silicon.com. One winner will be picked at random. All entrants must be over 18-years-old and resident in the UK. The judge's decision is final.
While we're blowing our own trumpet can the Round-Up also say a big thank you to those readers who wrote in last week praising the effort and achievement of this weekly newsletter, many of whom were spurred into action by the belief that the opening lines of the Round-Up were genuinely announcing last orders.
Trust the Round-Up when it says it's really not clever enough for this to have been calculated emotional blackmail. But whatever the reason it was wonderful to receive such glowing feedback. It makes it all worthwhile dear readers.
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