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The Weekly Round-Up: 25.05.07
The philf and the fury...

By silicon.com

Published: Friday 25 May 2007

If, like the Round-Up, you always used to get a copy of the Guinness Book of Records from your uncle and auntie at Christmas time you will have a preternatural interest in world records - particularly the setting of new ones.

So imagine the Round-Up's delight at news from Motorola that the world's highest mobile phone call this week took place on Mount Everest.

British climber Rod Baber made the call from 8,848 metres, possibly to ask whether he'd left the cooker on - or to enquire after who won the FA Cup.

However the whole thing was rather soured by the heavy hand of the marketing klutzes who managed to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory.

Once safely back at Everest base camp, and clearly dancing to his sponsor's tune, Baber said in a statement: "To reach the summit and achieve world records with Motorola is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

"My MOTO Z8 has totally enhanced the experience up here."

... because the views are rubbish?

Nobody other than the most indoctrinated individual would begin a sentence, in light of the immense achievement of scaling Everest, with the words "my Moto Z8".

And nobody other than a marketing exec would ask them to.

This should be a major achievement yet imagine the reception in his local pub when Baber pipes up.

"Hello Rod, how was Everest?"
"Well, it's funny you should ask, the battery life on my Motorola Z8... hey, hang on, where are you going? I've not finished telling you about my mobile phone... "

The real icing on the cake was provided by the sending of the world's highest text message, which was sent to its original author, Motorola staffer John Barlow, who had won an internal competition.

The text message (grab the sick bucket), written by Barlow and sent by Baber, read: "One small text for man, one giant leap for mobilekind - thanks Motorola."

From one marketing stunt to another… the Round-Up doesn't usually blow its own trumpet (much) but this is not just any old podcast… this is the Weekly Round-Up podcast. This week there's post-match analysis of the great silicon.com working from home experiment - and more besides. So go on, have a listen - after all, you're worth it. (You can even subscribe in iTunes here - or pick up the XML feed here.)

And if you've not had your fill of marketing speak for the week, try this on for size…

'PHILFING' is apparently becoming "A MAJOR INTERNET PROBLEM".

In capital letters no less. That's how important this is.

Of course the one nagging doubt here in the Round-Up's mind is possibly best summed up by the word 'huh?'

'Philfing' you say?

'Philfing' is apparently "the name given to the increasingly popular practice of 'Purposely Hiding what I'm Looking For'" by ecommerce websites who disguise their hidden costs.

"Britain is becoming a nation of angry online shoppers with 93 per cent getting annoyed with sneaky website tactics, according to a recent survey commissioned by MoreComputers.com," said a press release from the same.

Hidden delivery charges are apparently our biggest bugbear as consumers. But did this really warrant a new word and is sharp practice by sales people really such a new phenomenon?

Have these people never had their car serviced for a quoted £100, say, only to be hit by the hidden 'parts and labour', 'VAT', 'sales tax', 'added tax', 'mystery tax' and 'tax tax'?

Worse still - students of neologism - 'philfing' comes "hot on the heals of 'Wilfing'", according to MoreComputers' press release.

Now, aside from thinking these hapless souls can't even spell 'heels', you may now be wondering 'what the cor-blimey-crikey is wilfing when it's at home?'.

And you'd probably not be alone but - believe it or not - this is actually an increasingly popular phrase.

'Wilfing' stands for (give or take a few letters clearly ignored for convenience) 'What was I looking for?'. Apparently it's the aimless practice of surfing the web for the sake of it.

But frankly the Round-Up thinks this sounds like a case of 'Looting' - the phrase which from now on will be given to people sending out press releases which are built around a Load Of Old Toot.

Moving on...

Civil servants are a funky bunch, aren't they. They must be - they've got iPods.

And what are they using those iPods for? Listening to the latest floor-fillers from the hit parade? Not a bit of it. They're using them for watching educational tutorials on leadership and management techniques.

Rock and roll!

This is part of a Home Office initiative that will provide 20 video iPods preloaded with educational tutorials to civil servants. The initial pilot stage will cost £9,000 and there's no way, no siree, that said civil servants would have the audacity to load some tunes on there and think: 'Bonus! Free iPod... '

A Home Office spokeswoman told silicon.com: "Compared to the cost for in-classroom training, the iPods are very competitive, with the capacity on one iPod representing the equivalent of three days of classroom training."

And when will staff be using these iPods to brush up their leadership skills? "At their leisure," says the spokeswoman.

Lucky them.

There's also something of a security risk here, according to no less a source than somebody with a product to sell that protects companies from the dangers of removable media. How opportune.

Matt Fisher, vice-president of Centennial, who has a real bee in his bonnet about people bringing iPods into the office (and the data they could take back out with them), said: "Given that government networks contain a wealth of confidential data, is it really wise for these tiny gadgets to be allowed onto the system uncontrolled?

"By allowing iPods to access government networks unprotected, the Home Office is clearly disregarding the threat of actual, physical data theft. Without adequate controls in place, allowing iPods into the corridors of government could be very tempting to an unscrupulous minority, looking to steal valuable and confidential data.

"This is a risk we can't afford to take."

Personally, the Round-Up thinks if security was really the only grounds on which we could question the government's thinking with this one then it would be a very sad day for common sense. However, given the Ministry of Defence saw fit to ban iPods because of data theft concerns it does seem a valid point.

Speaking of wastes of money it seems mobile phone users - that's (probably) you - aren't getting value for money from their monthly contracts.

Never? The Round-Up doesn't know what to say.

uSwitch.com has this week claimed more than £1.8bn is being squandered annually by consumers failing to take advantage of the inclusive calls and texts they are entitled to. They are therefore in many cases paying over the odds for the wrong tariff.

The average Brit leaves almost 20 hours of inclusive calls untouched each year as well as 876 texts (which the Round-Up could send in the course of just one drunken taxi journey).

Steve Weller, head of communication services at uSwitch.com, comments: "This research brings into sharp focus the true cost of locking into what is often an 18-month contract period without understanding whether the tariff is right for your personal needs. Over the course of a contract consumers can be forking out almost £80 more than they need to."

What's more, uSwitch.com suggests those 'free' mobile phones they give you each year as an upgrade aren't free at all but rather the cost is factored into your line rental.

Well I never!

Worse still, although consumers are failing to take up their operator on all the freebies they are signed up for, those same operators are still more than willing to charge extra for calls and services not covered by the tariff. Despite not using up all inclusive calls and texts, consumers on average are still paying an extra £6 per month on top of their tariff.

Speaking of consumers getting more or less than they bargained for, Google has been in the headlines this week after CEO Eric Schmidt suggested it will become so pervasive and all-seeing that it will know us well enough to make personal recommendations - such as what jobs we should go for or what we should do on a day off.

Of course this will be possible (or not) because of the vast amounts of personal information Google intends to harvest from our web searches, preferences and email (should you be using Gmail).

For those who want this level of intuitiveness from Google it sounds like a great thing. Others might see it as an unwelcome intrusion into their lives and further evidence Google is getting a little bit too big for its boots.

Not realising it might sound more than a little creepy, Schmidt said: "We cannot even answer the most basic questions because we don't know enough about you. That is the most important aspect of Google's expansion."

That and the uniforms and the annexing of several small countries.

Speaking in London on Tuesday, Schmidt added: "The goal is to enable Google users to be able to ask questions such as 'what shall I do tomorrow?' and 'what job shall I take?'"

The latter suggestion certainly sounds like something we should all be happy to entrust to Google.

Just imagine: "This month you have mainly been looking for pictures of Britney Spears breasts, therefore we suggest you consider becoming Britney Spears' bra-maker."

How clever.

And finally, after frankly overwhelming public demand, the caption competition is back. This week's pic comes courtesy of those lovely people at Intel who have announced that lead will no longer be a part of future chips - which is good news for any opponents of heavy metals.

However, the pic, you'll be glad to hear, does not feature any chips - oh no, because that simply wouldn't be funny. Instead it features an acrobat who was performing at the recent launch event for the latest Intel Centrino.

Can you see what they've done there - acrobats, chips... ? Geddit?

No, nor did we - but take a look and submit your caption as a Reader Comment and you'll be in with a chance of winning a bottle of bubbly.

Until next week, speaking of chips, let the Round-Up leave you with some words of wisdom...

Remember: 'Bad fish and chips is better than no fish and chips'.

Think about it; it's profound.

And don't forget to check out the podcast.