Will's Web Watch: Quack, quack - the Net Doctor will see you now

How are you today? Chances are that if you're feeling at all unwell then you may already be among the growing number of people turning to the web for medical advice.

Hard-working professionals who don't have time for illness and even less time for doctors are logging on in their droves to find out what ails them. Type your symptoms in, or click on the body part which is troubling you, answer a few questions and get an instant diagnosis. Easy as that.

At best these services cut down the workload of busy GPs while providing some peace of mind for users. After all if somebody is going to go to the doctors only to be told after three or four straightforward questions that they have the flu and should have a day or two in bed, then why not put those questions online?

But at worst they create a dangerous over-reliance upon a service which will never be able to offer the same level of informed diagnosis as a doctor.

If you needed proof of how limited the seamless transition from GP to UI is, then consider this scenario.

I have a sore limb. Perhaps my arm's been troubling me for a couple of days so I log on to NHS Direct - by far the best service I found - to see whether I need to consult my GP.

Is there a "gaping wound?" I am asked. Is there a "bone sticking out?" it adds.

It's rather tricky to imagine someone logging onto the internet if they were nursing a gaping wound complete with compound fracture. Hospital might be a more likely destination.

Similarly, it gets more laughable when I profess to having pains in my hands.

"Am I missing a finger?", I'm asked.

Yeah, that'll be what it is. I couldn't quite place it, but now you come to mention it that definitely would seem to be my problem. Let's face it, a computer mouse and keyboard wouldn't really be my first port of call under the circumstances either - unless I intended typing with my nose.

Having exhausted the fun available to me on NHS Direct I move onto Net Doctor.

At the risk of sounding insensitive I was drawn towards the 'do you have a mental illness' self-assessment quiz. If you think you might be suffering from depression then this is the place to find out.

Consider these questions, which users are asked to reply to along an increasing scale, from 'Not at all' to 'To a great extent'.

* I have lost interest in things that used to mean a lot to me. * My future seems hopeless. * I feel guilty and deserve to be punished. * I feel sad, depressed and unhappy. * I feel like a failure. * I wonder HOW I could commit suicide.

If you answer 'To a great extent' to all these questions then you receive the following diagnosis:

"You have the symptoms of severe depression. The condition seems to cause serious problems in your everyday life, and you should consult your doctor immediately."

You don't say. Hypocrates died in 377 BC. The best part of 24 centuries later this is where we find ourselves.

The same website tells us that if you have to 'start your day with a drink' then you may well have an alcohol problem.

There is also a self-esteem quiz. Whether or not this is a medical condition is debatable, but I filled it in nonetheless.

To my delight it turned out I have "Good self-esteem on the whole. But you sometimes fail to believe in yourself enough. Remember you are a special and unique person. Many people in this category feel confident in what they do for a living – and get a lot of affirmation from that. It's important, however, to feel good about who you ARE, not just about what you do. Have a think about this."

So I'm off to do that now. Until next time...